Wrecked But Not Ruined (Spark of Hope Book 3) by Nicole Dykes

Author:Nicole Dykes [Dykes, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-11-20T16:00:00+00:00

ETHAN

“You still okay?” I have to ask, even though Knox has assured me he’s fine.

Knox turns his head slightly, still lying on his back in his bed as I cuddle up to his side. “I’m fine. You’re forgetting I’ve been gay all my life. Having sex with a guy is not really a big deal to me.”

I frown because that’s not what I wanted to hear. I’m not just some guy. We’ve been best friends for a long damn time. This is new, and he’s holding me at bay. I know why he’s doing it, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. “Not about sex.” I say the word sex quietly, and I have no idea why. “We didn’t even have sex.”

“We came together. That’s sex.” He rolls to his side. “Unless you’re going for the loophole thing where it’s not gay if there’s no penetration.”

I know he’s trying to joke, but I also know it’s a defense mechanism, and it won’t work with me. I know him too well. I take his hands in mine and press them to my chest, holding him to me. “I’m not looking for any loopholes. I don’t give a fuck about labels. Or being gay. Or whatever. I’m asking you if you’re still okay with what you and I did together, knowing that you’re not really in a place for a relationship and that we’re friends.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I wanted to work on school and not have my heart broken again.”

“I’ll never break your heart.”

It bothers me that he doesn’t look like he believes me. “I know you won’t on purpose.”

“I won’t on accident either.” I need him to believe me. I may be a fuckup, and I may be totally fucked up, but I won’t hurt him. I’d rather die than hurt him, and I think we’ve established that I’m afraid to die.

“You can’t promise that. Life isn’t like that. You might hurt me.”

“I won’t.” I’m firm because there’s no way I will.

“What if things don’t work out with us? With what we’re doing right now?”

He still can’t call it a relationship. He doesn’t think it’s real, and I know it’s up to me to prove to him that it’s very real. But for now, I’m keeping it simple and slow for him. “They will. There’s no doubt in my mind. But if they don’t, then we’ll talk to each other. We’ll always be friends, no matter what.”

He still doesn’t look so sure, and it gnaws at me. “I can’t lose you.”

“I feel the same way.” I need him more than he needs me. I wouldn’t risk it if it didn’t feel completely right.

I lean forward and kiss him slowly, not caring about morning breath or anything else. I want to show him just how much I’m in this. He smiles into the kiss, taking his hands back and smoothing them over my chest. “I have to get to class.”

“Shower with me?” I ask, hoping he won’t say no.

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