Why Not Me? by Ashley Erin

Author:Ashley Erin [Erin, Ashley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Published: 2018-06-27T18:30:00+00:00

Brendan: I’ve been thinking about you all day. I wanted to talk to you about something when you get home.

My stomach feels sick as I drive away from Landon, knowing I need to talk to Brendan too, but I doubt what he has to say comes even close to what I need to tell him, because I need to be honest. After what just happened, I can’t put off ending things.

Pausing outside our door, I try to prepare myself for what I’m about to do, but there is no possible way I’m ready for this. I know I need to do it. I know he deserves someone who loves him and is tied to him in the way two people bound together should.

I take a deep breath, filling my lungs and holding the air until it hurts, before releasing it and opening the door.

I look up, Brendan is approaching me with a glass of wine and a hopeful smile. I start taking my coat off, his hands helping me, before he leans down to kiss my neck. I freeze, my heart cracking underneath the feelings of loss and guilt.

Turning, I look up at him and I know he sees it. He sees how red and puffy the skin around my eyes is. He sees the glassy sheen of unshed tears. And he sees the look of decision and sadness.

Opening my mouth, I freeze when Brendan starts backing away, his hands up, his head shaking. “No. No, no, no, no.”

A tear falls down my cheek, his eyes tracking its glistening path until it stops at the corner of my mouth. Ignoring the wine, I follow him into the condo, reaching out to take his hand. The tiniest weight lifts when he lets me take it and I lead him to the couch.

We sit next to each other in silence, the words I need to say are heavy in the air. He knows exactly what’s coming, I think a part of him even knew this morning. I couldn’t bring myself to fake being happy when I knew I was going to do this eventually. I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe my tears away, only to have my vision blurred with more. Neither of us is ready for this, but it’s necessary, for both of us.

“I can’t do this anymore. Us, it’s not working and it hasn’t been for a while now.” I choke out the words, watching as his face cracks and he starts to shake his head in denial.

“We can get through this.” His voice is a whisper. “There isn’t anything that we can’t work through. That’s all we need, we just need to put in the work.”

Dropping my head into my hands, my head moving side to side as I voice the words I know will crush him, the words I promised myself I would never have to say. “I kissed Landon.” My voice cracks, breaks as sobs wrack my body when I look up to meet his gaze head on.

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