Up in Smoke by Bailey Tessa

Author:Bailey, Tessa [Bailey, Tessa]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Romance, Suspense, Contemporary, Adult
ISBN: 9781633750135
Publisher: Entangled
Published: 2015-06-22T07:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

For what seemed like the hundredth time that hour, Connor paused in his research, swearing he heard booted footsteps coming down the hall. After a few seconds of hopeful silence, he went back to reading the web page he’d pulled up on his laptop screen and resumed scribbling notes. At first, he’d started researching Erin’s condition as a way to distract himself. If he could focus on something else, maybe he’d have a chance in hell of staying put. Not slamming out of the apartment to walk the streets shouting for her like a goddamn lunatic. At least, that’s how it had started.

About five minutes after typing “fear of being touched” into the search engine, he’d realized this was where his time could be better spent. Erin had said she would come home, and he had to trust her on that. He’d abused her trust, albeit on accident, and now he would atone. Based on what he’d learned since sitting down in front of the laptop, he had a lot of fucking atoning to do. Yeah, his using her condition against her might have been inadvertent, but it didn’t excuse his withholding himself. She’d found a way to ease her demons and he’d yanked it away. Remembering the way he’d turned her away last night made him sick to his stomach. An empty triumph that had only succeeded in pushing her away after they’d taken two steps forward. After she’d charged straight at him and held him, only seconds having passed since he’d shattered a window with his fist.

It had felt so good, just to regain some vestige of control after losing it at the parking structure, but it hadn’t been worth it. Not even close. He doubted Erin even knew what she was dealing with. Haphephobia. The fear of being touched that often presented itself after a traumatic event. Touch from another human being often felt like fire burning the sufferer’s skin. The fact that she got pleasure from contact with his body was a rare miracle and he’d squandered it. God, if he could go back to last night, he’d let her hand wring every ounce of pleasure from his body and beg for more. He’d been a selfish motherfucker.

So he couldn’t touch her with his hands. Yet. Would he trade the connection he had with Erin for someone who allowed his touch, but didn’t make him feel anything? No way in hell. Now he had to prove that to her. If it meant setting aside his overwhelming compulsion to pin her down and put his mark on her, if it meant putting himself through torture by going slow, he would do it. A significant factor in his thirst for control came from satisfying the woman. For the first time ever, the woman was his woman. Knowing he was the only one Erin could stand to touch might just be the most powerful piece of control he’d ever experienced. Too bad it had taken her almost walking out on him twice to figure it out.

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