Trillionaire Boys' Club: The Internet Giant by Aubrey Parker

Author:Aubrey Parker [Parker, Aubrey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Eros
Published: 2017-02-06T18:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MIA

My knee-jerk reaction is to feel like an idiot, but I convince myself that it’s worth turning the coin to see the other side. Maybe I’m not a fool. And maybe it’s listening to my knee-jerk reactions — instead of properly thinking things out — that keeps getting me into trouble.

It’s backwards psychology, telling me only what I want to hear. Part of me recognizes my bullshit, but not all of me. Somehow I decide that maybe I had so much trouble with Onyx in the past because I never stopped to consider the consequences … and conveniently ignore the fact that what I’m not stopping to consider the consequences of this time is having sex with my emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend.

Honestly, though. That’s something I should feel stupid about. I mean … come on.

Still, I manage to pull my shit together once Onyx leaves the room, telling myself that maybe he didn’t kiss me or look at me or say goodbye because he was being discreet. Maybe he’s trying to keep a playful secret alive between us, and that’s why he didn’t ruin our beautiful carnal moment with … you know … courtesy.

I suspect this is a defense mechanism.

I suspect I’m telling myself these lies because if I don’t, I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror. I’ll have no respect left for this skinny black-haired girl who can’t resist the asshole.

So after work, I tell Jamie. And she flips right the fuck out.

“You what?”

And when she says it, she’s not responding to my revelation that we had sex in my office today. That would be logical. Instead, she’s responding to something much more offensive that I just said: That I think he might be feeling things for me again, and that maybe he’s changed.

“Mia. Honey. He and his partner bought the company you work for just a few days after he came to you on the street with flowers, looking to—”

I point a finger in her face. We’re at a table on the patio at Hill of Beans, and there’s a light breeze in the air. The day is fragrant. I hear chirping birds and smell the season’s freshest blooms while the logical part of my brain points at me and laughs.

What am I, a fifteen-year-old in love? This is Onyx. He’s caused me more pain than my dentist.

“That’s just it,” I interrupt. “He came with flowers.”

“And you punched him in the dick.”

“He deserved it. I’m just saying, time can change people.”

Jamie squints at me as if trying to read tiny writing on the bridge of my nose. Then, carefully, she says, “You’re just trying to justify the cock.”

“Jamie!”

“You are. You got fucked. But you told me yourself that he said it was just about sex.”

“Oh, I don’t know what he meant by that.”

“I think it probably meant, ‘This thing I’m about to do, where I put my dick inside you? It’s just about sex.”

“You didn’t see how he was.”

“I know exactly how he was. Not today, but for … like … all of your past.

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