The Soulmate Theory by Sarah A. Bailey

Author:Sarah A. Bailey [Bailey, Sarah A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sarah A. Bailey
Published: 2023-06-19T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

Carter

I WINCED AS THE BATHROOM DOOR SLAMMED shut, shaking the entire house with it.

I let out all of the air trapped in my lungs, blowing out the unspoken words that somehow got lodged inside me. All the things I should’ve said. I watched her face fall. I knew what it looked like—what it felt like—to face rejection upfront. I knew that was what she was feeling.

I had opened my mouth to try and explain myself, but I found that the words wouldn’t come. My voice refused to follow my thoughts. I was too distracted by the devastation I found on her face, too afraid to make it worse. I just stared at her until her cheeks reddened to the point of crimson, and she dropped her head, shoving past me as she muttered something like I get it, and slammed the bathroom door behind her. I heard the pounding of the shower head from inside the bathroom and figured I’d have about ten minutes before facing her again.

Ten minutes to get my shit together and explain to her that my body often betrays me, and I absolutely did not mean that I didn’t wish to continue kissing her. I’d kiss her forever if she’d let me. But I needed to know what it meant. I needed to know if this was just a release or something more. I needed to at least try and protect my tormented soul, my agonized body.

Plus, I couldn’t continue here. Because her friends were in the other room. Because I didn’t want to fuck her on a shitty sofa bed. Because by the way she was touching me, I couldn’t be sure I’d even make it to the couch before losing myself completely. I just have trouble speaking when she looks at me a certain way. In those moments when she’s zoned in on me, focusing on my mouth as if she’s trying to guess what I’m going to say before I say it. Her eyes deepen and stretch, her lips part slightly, her brows raise, and her cheeks flush. When she is hanging onto my words as if anything I could say could make or break her world.

In those moments, I lose the ability to speak.

Knowing me, as soon as I would try explaining that I’d lose my words again, or I’d say something equally as stupid. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, untangling the curls that had wound together when whipped through the beach breeze. The room felt colder than it had a minute ago, quieter too. The absence of her was palpable and I couldn’t stand here helplessly while I waited for her. I stepped outside onto the veranda. The ocean wasn’t visible in the darkness, but the sound of the crashing waves reminded me of its presence. It soothed me as I caught my breath and waited for Penelope.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like more than ten minutes. I leaned back in my chair and glanced through the window.

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