The Merit Birds by Kelley Powell

Author:Kelley Powell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dundurn
Published: 2015-04-07T04:00:00+00:00

Wait

Cam

Each time the bus back to Vientiane careened over a pothole, pain radiated from my ribs throughout my entire body. I tried to brace myself each time it looked as if we were going to hit a bump, but the stiffening of my body only made the hurting worse. The wound on my chin was puffy and thin; red lines were snaking up from it toward my jaw. I wondered if it was infected.

Somchai sat on the hard, metal seat across from me looking out the window. He had only said a few sentences to me since two nights ago when I’d gotten high. When he smiled at the bus conductor or the three children crammed into the seat behind him it seemed forced. I leaned across the bus aisle toward him.

“Hey,” I said. “What are you thinking about?”

“My sister.”

“Will she be there when we get back?”

“No, she’ll be back in Thailand by now. She has to work tomorrow.”

“She doesn’t get a holiday for Lao New Year? There’s still one day of Pi Mai left, right?”

“This weekend was her holiday. It was my only chance to see her. She cleans rooms at a Thai hotel. Hotels don’t boot all of their guests out for New Year.”

“Somchai, I really am sorry,” I said, swallowing the lump pressing on my throat.

“I know you are.”

“Damn, I have a lot of making up to do. First Nok, now you. What is wrong with me?”

Somchai didn’t say anything. He looked out the window. After a while he leaned across the aisle and said, “It’s all about you, Cam.”

“What do you mean?”

“You put yourself first all the time. It’s all about how you feel and what you want.”

His words stung. I didn’t know what to say. I sat quietly, shocked and hurt.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I finally asked, snappy and irritated.

“No. I’m not trying to make you feel better. You asked me what was wrong with you.”

“In English that’s usually meant as a rhetorical question.”

“Rhetorical?”

“You’re not meant to answer it.”

“Why bother asking it in the first place, then? I’m just saying, you can never be happy that way.”

I shifted in my seat. I didn’t like what he was telling me.

“So why are you always so happy then, Mr. Fucking Sunshine?”

“I’m not perfect,” he said. “All I know is that I feel good when I think of something bigger than myself.”

I met his eyes.

“I mean, it’s good to know what you like and want in this world, but focusing on yourself all the time can drive you crazy. That’s why all you Western people are depressed,” he said.

“We’re not all depressed.”

He shrugged. “You’re all about the individual. Here we put the family or community first.”

“And that’s working out real well for you, isn’t it? You’re going to flunk out of school because you have to make money for your family.”

“I’m not saying it’s faultless, I’m just saying —” He sat and thought for a second, “maybe there’s a middle way between serving you all the time and serving others.

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