The Kid [Film Tie-in] by Kevin Lewis

Author:Kevin Lewis [Kevin Lewis]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141960449
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2009-08-07T04:00:00+00:00

30. Reflection

I had several reasons to write this book. I wanted to tell Jackie my story so she would understand why I am the way I am. I wanted to sort out the thoughts and feelings that watching my son grow up had brought out in me. And I wanted people to know what it is like for those who have nothing and no one when they start out in life, to maybe make them a little more tolerant and understanding of people who are different, and see what has gone into making them that way.

In some ways it was an easy story to tell because I’d lived it and remembered almost every stage with horrible clarity. Some of it I enjoyed writing, but other bits were painful to relive, reminding me of things I had carefully forgotten. The thought of trying to get the book published was even more frightening. I was worried that I was selling my soul and fretted at the thought of the questions that publishers and the public might ask once I’d submitted the manuscript to the world. I thought it would help me to exorcize my demons, and perhaps it will when it’s all over, but it has also released others that I had been keeping carefully locked up.

When I look back at my life so far I can see how lucky I’ve been. Things could so easily have gone differently. When I hear on the news of children who have been abused and murdered I know exactly what they have been through. I know what leads children to turn to crime and prostitution and how poverty destroys their lives and souls. I have escaped from that.

I’ve always wanted to do what’s right and that has driven me on to the next thing each time as I’ve struggled to get as far away from my childhood as possible. Jackie changed everything for me and for that I owe her my heartfelt thanks. I also owe thanks to Uncle David and the staff at Yarborough for the comfort and security they offered me during my time there, and to Colin Smith whose persistence got me to Alan and Margaret’s and introduced me to music. Then there was Gini who gave me respite during some of the most difficult times, Alan who sowed the seeds of ambition, and the friends who stayed with me through thick and thin. Then there are my children, who have brought me so much happiness in ways they will never understand.

I’m grateful to my brother, Wayne, for keeping in contact, and to all the people who don’t know that they have helped me in some way, like you have by taking the time to read this book.

I have seen that what goes around comes around and now my parents are getting older and need love, comfort and support, but there is no one there for them. I could never bring myself to treat them as normal grandparents and take the children round for visits, and so they have to go on waiting.

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