Stealing Thunder by Alina Boyden

Stealing Thunder by Alina Boyden

Author:Alina Boyden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ace
Published: 2020-05-11T23:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER 11

Icouldn’t sleep. I lay in bed with my head resting against Arjun’s chest, listening to the slow, steady beats of his heart, and I wondered if he would live through the day. And for the first time, I didn’t wonder what would become of me if he didn’t. Oh, without him, I would go back to the dera, back to pleasing men like Govind Singh, back to dancing in a different haveli every night, hoping to attract the attention of a rich patron; I knew that, but after all the things Karim said, none of that really mattered. What frightened me most about the fate that awaited me if Arjun died was that I would have to spend the rest of my life without him.

I curled my body a little closer to his and tried to take comfort in the warmth of his arm around my shoulders, the strength of his muscles, even when relaxed by the deepest sleep. God help me, I didn’t want to lose him. I’d spent years being trained not to let thoughts like that one enter my mind. They were a luxury that a courtesan could ill afford, but now that I’d thought it, now that I’d felt that fear of loss in my heart, it was all I could think about.

When had Arjun Agnivansha become my whole life? I felt like I’d been tricked somehow, drugged maybe. I’d always been so good at my job, because I had a calculating mind, a head for strategy, I was always playing the long game. A month ago, I’d have laughed at the thought of losing sleep over a man. I could tell myself it was because Arjun was a rich and important client, but I knew that wasn’t it. Self-interest never made a person’s heart ache the way mine was.

I was being stupid. Ammi would have told me that I was acting like a little girl, not a grown woman, and that I needed to get my head on straight and think about my priorities. But when I did that, the only priority that I felt was somehow helping Arjun to survive the coming battle. Ammi would have scolded me for that too, would have reminded me that as a hijra I would never be a princess, I would never marry a prince, I would never even be permitted to live in a palace except as the lowest servant. And all that was probably true, but it did nothing to lift the feeling of heaviness from my heart.

A part of me hated being so dependent on a man. I’d always been dependent on my clients for money, for clothes, for jewels, for affection, but that was a kind of contract with clear payments to be rendered and services to be provided, and there was almost always a fixed end point. This, whatever it was, felt different. It felt like something more, but I tried to push that thought aside, because if there was one thing



Download



Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.