Sinning in Vegas by Sam Mariano

Author:Sam Mariano [Mariano, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

27

Laurel

I lie there for a moment, processing his words and staring at the muscular expanse of his back. I can’t let him go to sleep like that.

“Rafe.”

I scoot closer, my nerves twisting up inside me. Reaching out a tentative hand, I wrap an around him until my fingers are skating down the muscles of his abdomen and I’m tucked snugly against his back. I’m not sure what the threat is, but I know there is one, and I’ve been too distracted to see it. I need to disarm him. I need to dissolve the need for the threat.

“Do you want to kiss me?” I whisper, my voice as tentative as my touch.

He’s silent for so long, it makes my stomach hurt. Then he says simply, “If I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”

Swallowing down the lump of nerves lodged in my throat, I pull him until he rolls over onto his back. He watches me, but doesn’t move another inch. I shift my weight, moving half of my body on top of him. My fingers move through his hair and I bend down to brush my lips against his, but it feels so hollow. Everything I feel right now is rooted in fear, not desire. Surely he can feel the difference. Surely it doesn’t feel the same when a woman kisses you because she wants you, and when she kisses you out of sheer desperation.

If there’s a difference to him, I can’t tell. He deepens the kiss, his big hand moving behind my head to cradle it and guide me closer. My heart seems to flip over in my chest. Rafe shifts my body until I’m fully on top of him. I close my eyes, but all I can see is the empty spot in Sin’s bed. As if my lungs are shrinking, it becomes harder to breathe. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

What happens if I don’t?

How am I supposed to abandon Sin in Vegas and go to Chicago? I don’t know if he’s safe. I don’t know if Rafe is vengeful. I don’t know the man whose bed I sleep in every night, and I’ve been so busy missing someone else, I haven’t made much of an effort to change that. I don’t owe it to him to do that, but it could be a grave misstep. I’ve heard stories about the twisted men in this family—what if he is one of them? What if I just don’t know that yet? What if I won’t find out until it’s too late to change anything, and my whole life becomes a nightmare?

What was it he said about Mateo’s dad and the woman he loved who didn’t love him back? That he became her monster.

Is there some version of a future where Rafe Morelli is my monster? Not because he loves me, but because I won’t stop longing for someone else and his pride won’t have it?

I pull back, pushing my fingers through my own hair to get it out of my face.

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