Say You'll Stay by Corinne Michaels

Author:Corinne Michaels [Michaels, Corinne]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Romance, Contemporary, Adult
ISBN: 9781682307533
Google: pBtEDAAAQBAJ
Amazon: 1682307530
Goodreads: 30326616
Publisher: BAAE Publishing
Published: 2016-06-18T18:30:00+00:00

“M OM.” I HEAR CAYDEN SAY from my door.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I lie with you?”

It’s the second night this week he’s found his way to my room. “Of course.” I lift the covers and he climbs in.

Cayden rests as I brush his hair back. Cayden suffered with night terrors, and the only way to get him to sleep was to lie in his bed until he finally passed out. Todd could never soothe him for long enough, so I was the one who ended up cuddling with him. When they were little, I used to wish their time away, I wanted them to talk, walk, and feed themselves. Now, I would give anything to have those moments again.

His breathing evens out. “I miss him,” he says in a hushed tone.

“Who?” I ask, even though I’m fully aware of who he means.

“Dad.”

“I know you do.”

I’ve been trying so hard to rid myself of the anger that festers inside me. Knowing that we could’ve avoided this pain makes it damn near impossible to let go. It’s so hard to reconcile. There were no warning signs that this was what he was planning or even considering. I look back on the period of time when he was out of work, and I blame myself for being so oblivious. I should’ve known. I was his wife, his partner . . . I wrestle with my guilt every day.

“Was he sick?”

And this is the part I hate.

“No, not that we knew of.” I dance around with half-truths. I would say that to some extent he had to be sick. But that’s not what Cayden is asking me.

He turns over and faces me. His big green eyes are so full of innocence—innocence that I’m trying so desperately to save. The world is full of ugly truths; children shouldn’t have to be burdened with them.

“I want to go back home,” he says with tears in his eyes. “I miss my friends and my room. I miss Aunt Angie.”

“I wish we could. I really do.” I kiss his head. “I miss her too. But this is our home now. You have to focus on the good things about Bell Buckle.” I’m preaching to the choir.

“I like my horse.”

“See?” I smile.

“I like Uncle Cooper and Wyatt. He’s really funny.”

“He’s something all right.” We both laugh. “He’s been my friend since I was a baby. Did you know that?”

Cayden’s eyes widen. “He knew you when you were young?”

“Hey,” I chide. “I’m still young.”

“Whatever you say, Mom.”

I tickle his sides, and he giggles without restraint. That’s a sound I miss. Even now when they laugh, it seems like it takes them effort. “I’m twenty-nine. Say it,” I continue.

“No, you’re not.”

“Say it or suffer the wrath of my tickles.”

Cayden squirms and laughs as he refuses to say it. Finally, he gives in. “Fine! You’re twenty-nine.”

I lie back as though I’m exhausted, letting out a huff. “You’re so sweet to say such nice things.”

“In your dreams, Mom.”

“Turd.”

We both laugh a little and then settle down.

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