Romance Languages by A. J. Truman

Author:A. J. Truman [Truman, A. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Gay / Lesbian / LGBT
Amazon: B0BLNVMLT4
Goodreads: 63289810
Publisher: Truman Books
Published: 2023-04-25T22:00:00+00:00

It was dark when we left. We were one of the last cars in the parking lot. Julian collapsed into the passenger seat, his hair still adorably matted down.

I strummed my fingers on the steering wheel.

“You were right. That was fun,” he said. “And very cathartic. I may have to come back here.”

I only managed a half-smile, my mind distracted.

“Did you want to grab a drink somewhere?” he asked.

“Jules…” I exhaled a breath. Here goes nothing. “I want to explain what happened at the wine store, with my card.”

It was a struggle to push out each word. I looked down at the wheel, not yet ready to see his reaction.

“My financial situation is really fucked-up. I barely have any money because it’s all going to clean up the mess I’ve made.”

I flicked my eyes his way, and he seemed confused about whether this was a joke or not.

“Every week, I go to Gamblers Anonymous meetings at the MacArthur Center. I used to have a really bad problem with online poker and sports betting. It started in college. Everyone I knew was doing it. You could make a little money. But unlike my friends, I couldn’t stop. I wanted more. I was always on the cusp of victory. I saw it as another sport that I could get better at with practice.” I shook my head, disgusted at all the excuses I’d used on myself over the years, all the lies I’d told myself and others.

“I maxed out my credit cards. I borrowed money from friends and family to ‘fix my car,’” I said with air quotes.

I looked up and blew out a huge breath. I was about to get to the worst of it. This could be the end of my friendship. He was about to find out his friend was a full-on, undeniable walking shitstorm.

“I had a serious girlfriend. Lauren. She trusted me completely. She trusted me so much she agreed to combine finances.” I held onto the steering wheel until my hands turned white. “And I wiped her out.”

“Seamus,” he whispered. My name had never sounded so pitiful.

“So yeah, Jules. I have a good body. When I go out with my bros, I get checked out. But I also have crippling debt, a gambling addiction, wonderful people whose lives I’ve hurt. I’d rather be a thirty-five-year-old virgin than a thirty-year-old fuckup.”

I slumped in my seat, staring out the window at the empty cages. Silence hung heavy in the car. I was too scared to look over at Julian and see his first reaction.

“Anyway, that’s my baseball I’m trying to hit.” It was hard having Julian look at me like I was someone special, someone worth being on a pedestal when I deserved to be in the gutter.

A hand glided onto my shoulder and rubbed out some of the tension, a tourniquet for my wounded self. Each second that passed without him saying anything seared my gut.

“I guess some stories we tell ourselves are easier to believe than others. Thank you for sharing this with me.

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