Please Like Me (But Keep Away) (Nothing Like I Imagined) by Mindy Kaling

Author:Mindy Kaling [Kaling, Mindy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-10-05T16:00:00+00:00

With real friends I don’t smize; you get to see all my teeth.

Between Tracey, Lang, B.J., and a few other writers and actors I’ve met through work, I now have about seven great friends, which isn’t a lot but is more than a sad Tennessee Williams character has. That, as it turns out, is good enough for me.

Let’s Turn Forty Quietly

B.J. understands my social anxiety. He knows I crave company but don’t like most people. Even though I appear to be the more easygoing of the two of us, the truth is, I’m just better at seeming cheerful than he is. And B.J. knows that I would definitely try to get away with not having a fortieth birthday party. And why didn’t I want one? Well, like I just admitted, I have fewer than ten friends, so that was a deterrent. Also, the bar for a successful fortieth birthday had been set so high in my social group. For Reese Witherspoon’s fortieth birthday party, she and her husband rented out a classy nightclub in Hollywood. It was packed to capacity with A-list movie stars who are legitimately her close friends—I couldn’t walk two feet without bumping into Robert Downey Jr. or Jen Aniston. I didn’t want to try to throw my version of that and have three people show up who weren’t even Avengers or Friends.

I decided to sit out my fortieth entirely. My birthday plan was to Postmates expensive sushi, watch Dateline, and cap the night off by eating half of a birthday cake I ordered for myself. I thought it was a great birthday plan! But B.J. disagreed, calling it, and I’m quoting him here, “extremely sad.”

That’s why I agreed to let B.J. host my fortieth birthday celebration for me, with just my closest friends, at San Vicente Bungalows (a fancy members-only club where I am not a member). It turned out to be one of the best nights of my time in LA. It was such a relief celebrating with people I love and love talking to, being 100 percent myself because I knew nobody was there to judge me for not getting my makeup professionally done, or for eating three slices of birthday cake. There was no scary unknown factor and absolutely no small talk. It was perfect.

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