Payne's Goddess by Ciara St James

Author:Ciara St James [St James, Ciara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ciara St James LLC
Published: 2022-10-18T16:00:00+00:00

Jayla: Chapter 12

It was Monday already and I was sore and tired. Payne and I had spent most of the weekend in bed exploring each other. We found we couldn’t seem to keep our hands off of each other. We’d had more than one session that involved pain, but not every one did, which made me happy. He seemed to be able to get off without it and he kept reassuring me that he was sexually satisfied when he did. I prayed that he was telling me the truth and that he’d continue to be able to enjoy it. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for what had happened to him to shape him into the man he’d become.

I knew some of my issues with being afraid was having him one day tell me I wasn’t enough like Adam had. That had hurt even if I knew the marriage was already over. It made me wonder if we could have saved it, though I wasn’t in love with him anymore.

The only thing to mar the perfection of our weekend was I had a conversation with my mother. She’d called out of the blue and it wasn’t to see how I was. It was to blame me yet again for the divorce and tell me how big of a mistake I made by letting Adam get away. Just thinking about it pissed me off all over again.

“You know, Jayla, if you’d only paid more attention to your husband and had been a better wife, you’d still be married.” She started off as soon as I said hello and asked her how things were going. I held in a huge sigh of frustration. I wanted to hang up the damn phone, but I didn’t. I gritted my teeth and responded as nicely as I could. It was damn hard to do.

“Mom, really, you want to go there? You know that it takes two to have a marriage and two to wreck it. Adam never told me he was unhappy. He went out and had a girlfriend while we were married. Did you expect me to just overlook that? Our marriage was over as soon as I realized that. We stayed in it longer than we should have.”

“He wouldn’t have needed her if you’d done more. Now you’re divorced and alone. You’ll grow old and die alone.”

“What makes you think I’ll die alone?”

“Come on, dear, men aren’t looking for divorcees. They don’t want someone that another man has found lacking. You’ll be good enough for sex, but not to settle down and have a family with.” Her remarks pissed me off. I looked over at Payne. He was sitting across from me with a frown on his face as he listened to my end of the conversation.

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, Mom, but I have someone and he doesn’t think I’m lacking because Adam and I are divorced. I seem to be enough for him.”

I heard her huff then she snapped back, “He’s probably only using you for sex until someone better comes along.

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