Lust by Leddy Harper

Author:Leddy Harper
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2015-04-22T23:00:00+00:00

Ivy was quiet as I took her back to her apartment. She stared out her window as I drove and seemed to have pulled away from me some. Even her body felt further away. I had known that by pushing her, I ran the risk of pushing her away. At the time when I made that realization, I figured it could have been a good thing. If she made the decision to stop her treatment, there was nothing I could have done about it. But facing that reality made me rethink my logic.

She tried to jump out of the car as soon as I pulled up to her building, but I held onto her arm and kept her in the car. She wouldn’t even look at me. The panic began to rise, bubbling to the surface. Was this it? Was this the last chance I’d have with her?

“Talk to me, Ivy. What are you feeling?” I didn’t ask her, it was more like I begged her to talk to me. I was desperate to hear what she was thinking. There was no way in hell I’d let her out of my car without talking to me.

She rested her head against the seat and looked up at the upholstered ceiling, exhaling loudly as she did so. “I don’t know what I’m feeling, Cade. I’m feeling a lot of things. None of which I can explain accurately.”

“Can you please try?”

I could see her eyes cut to me without turning her head. “Scared,” she finally mumbled. I had to strain to make out the word.

“Scared? Why? Did I do something to scare you?” I asked quietly and tried to maintain my composer, even though I was feeling panicked.

Her posture was stiff and her breathing sounded a little unsteady in the quiet car. An unknown feeling came over me as I sat next to her, fearful of the words she might say. Had I gone too far? Had I pushed her beyond what she was able to handle? And if I did… what did that mean for me? For her? For us? I almost didn’t want to hear her answer. I wanted to live inside of this little bubble, remembering the way her face lit up as I took her over the edge for the first time. I wanted to live in that space where it was just her and me. No one else. No other thoughts between us except the ones that reminded us of the wonderful things we had experienced together.

But I couldn’t stay in this bubble and live there. And neither could she. I could see it on her face as her eyes moved from mine and her fingers twisted together on her lap. Things between us had changed and I didn’t think my heart could’ve raced any more than what it already was… but waiting for her to tell me the exact thing I feared proved me wrong.

“You make me want things I’ve never wanted before, Cade. I mean, I’ve wanted them… I’ve just never gone after them.

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