Little Conversations by Matilde Sibylla

Author:Matilde, Sibylla [Matilde, Sibylla]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance
Publisher: Kindle Direct Publishing
Published: 2013-09-11T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12 – Not Okay

Devin opened her eyes to find herself in her bed. Alone. Not surprising. Jake never stayed until she woke up. Her eyes travelled across her wall to the hole, the size of a fist. She felt numb, ill. Not used, but not loved. Detached.

Completely alone.

She looked over at her clock and saw there was about an hour and a half left before her shift at the Sundowner. Her hands lifted to rub her temples and her eyes, and she clumsily shuffled out of bed and into the bathroom. Her thick hair fell around her shoulders, still damp from her late-night shower. She brushed it harshly and pulled it back into a painfully tight ponytail. She applied her make-up, pinching her lids a bit with her eyelash curler. She looked closely in the mirror and plucked a few wayward bits from her brows. She brushed her teeth harshly and kept the Listerine in until it burned. Through all this, she felt nothing. Completely disconnected. A void where her soul once endured. She couldn’t seem to shake the dismal air. She couldn’t shake the gray cloud that enveloped her.

She pulled the sheets off the bed and threw them into the washing machine with extra bleach. She doused her eyes with Visine to reduce the bloodshot appearance resulting from the flood of tears the night before. She applied a heavy coat of eyeliner to mask the red, swollen rim of her eyes.

Still feeling outside of herself, she headed outside, started her dumpy little Jetta, and mechanically drove to work where she quietly stood in the wait station, rolling silverware and napkins into little bundles. The lunch rush began, and she dutifully rotated onto the floor, taking tables as they arrived, smiling when expected, but without it ever reaching her eyes. As she stood in front of the till ringing in a guest’s ticket, the bell at the front door rang, and she turned to seat the new customer. It was Ronin.

She froze.

He looked at her standing there staring at him. His eyes travelled over her, focusing on the hollow, empty look in her eyes.

Slowly, she came to and walked over to him.

“Did you want a table?” she asked tremulously in a barely audible voice.

Ronin nodded, so she turned and grabbed a menu. He followed her to a small booth in the corner. As she set the menu on the table, Ronin’s hand reached out to softly grasp her arm.

“Everything okay with Jake?” Ronin asked, standing closely behind her.

“No,” Devin murmured without looking at him. “No, it’s not.” Her voice hitched a little, and she took a deep, steadying breath. “But, I’ve gotta work right now.”

“You get off at four o’clock?”

Devin nodded.

“Stop by my place?”

She paused, then nodded again.

He gave her arm a light, reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be okay, honey.”

“Will it?” Devin asked, clearly disbelieving him. She looked up at him and took a shuttered breath, wanting to change the subject. “Want some coffee?” she asked.

Ronin looked at her for a long moment, picking up on her reluctance to discuss last night.

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