Leading Lines by Chantel Guertin

Author:Chantel Guertin
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781770412323
Publisher: ECW Press
Published: 2015-08-31T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 13

Everything reminds me of him. My English notebook where I’ve doodled DM+PG inside hearts. The mug with my name on it that he gave me, filled with Twizzlers, for Christmas. The ticket stub from the Cherry Blasters concert pinned to my bulletin board. The random business card we found in the gazebo at Hannover Park for Harry Combs, barber. Notes he’d slip in my school bag when I wasn’t looking. My entire Instagram account, mostly because every photo reminds me of him in some way. The staircase to the basement makes me think of the night Dylan jumped up, landed on the banister and slid the rest of the way down, all without spilling the glass of Coke he was holding. There’s a water-stain ring on the kitchen table that reminds me of Wednesday nights when he’d come for dinner with Mom and me.

I’ve never broken up with someone before, but I always imagined if I did, it would be liberating, that it would be because I was no longer in love with him, and I would be happy to not ever have to see or talk to or think about him again. This is the exact opposite of that. I miss him and all the little things about him.

On Tuesday I go to school but only because Mom forces me. I give my Streeters column to Jeffrey to complete for the following week’s Hall Pass. On Wednesday I scroll through every single one of Muse’s hundreds of Instagram photos. On Thursday I check her page about 23 times for updates. On Friday she posts a picture of her and Dylan: he’s holding his guitar, and she’s got a notebook on her lap—her head touching his as they lean together to fit in the frame. My heart beats faster and my eyes sting. My hands shake as I close the app and toss my phone aside, then flop back on my pillow, staring at the ceiling.

I try to analyze what I’m feeling, Dr. Judy style. Am I jealous? Or sad? Or mad? I decide it’s All of the Above. Are they together? Is it because I broke up with Dylan? Or would they have gotten together no matter what, and it was only a matter of time until he broke up with me? Or did Dylan cheat on me? I text Dace but she doesn’t respond, which is weird because she’s basically been checking in with me every five seconds since Dylan and I broke up. Emma and Gemma are also MIA, and then I remember they’re all at ski club. I go to bed at 7 and don’t get up until 11 on Saturday morning. Mom has breakfast waiting on the kitchen table and an appointment scheduled with Dr. Judy.

• • •

Dace arrives on the doorstep for Sleepover Saturday laden with two huge beach bags—one filled with her sleepover stuff and the other fully stocked with break-up survival snacks: chips, Cokes and a bag she’s filled at the bulk candy store with every type of candy, except the one I eat every Sleepover Saturday: Twizzlers.

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