Hooked by Jane May

Author:Jane May
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2007-08-01T16:00:00+00:00

After weighing the pros and cons, Woody grabbed his banjo and headed out the back door. Thanks to a low tide, the prevailing odor outside was a bit pungent. Like that of a neglected aquarium.

Woody sat down on the sea wall. No sooner did he finish one refrain of “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” than the fish du jour appeared.

“Boy, am I glad to see you again!”

“Believe me, kid, the pleasure is truly all mine. What can the Prince do you for tonight?”

“First of all, I wanted to thank you for the stellar job you did on my truck.”

You had to laugh, thought Woody. Here I am having this casual conversation with a talking fish like it’s an everyday occurrence.

“Believe me, kid, it was just the tip of the old iceberg.”

“And most importantly, Madalina was exactly where you said she’d be. And at the precise time as well. It was awesome.”

“Hey, who loves you? The Prince always makes good on his word. I assume you did the sailing thing like I told you?”

“Great suggestion, I must say.”

“And then what happened?”

“We had a bite at Scotty’s.”

“Always hated that joint. Couldn’t take the smell of seafood. Anyway, then what happened?”

“I drove her home.”

“You score?”

“Trying to jump someone you like on a first date is so not cool.”

“Why do I have the feeling there’s more to this story?”

“Well, the problem is…”

Woody’s mouth clamped shut and he stared down at the ground.

“Do you plan to tell me what happened in the next, say, year or two?” asked Raymond tapping the dark green water with one of his fins. “I’m still waiting.”

“Okay, I’m just going to come out with this.”

He took a beat.

“I told Madalina all about you.”

Raymond’s eyes grew bigger and bigger, as the color of his scaly flesh turned from blue to bright purple. Woody feared his head might explode any moment.

“Are you some kind of fucking idiot? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I just felt like I needed to come clean with her. How else could she ever trust me then?”

“You are so naïve. I guarantee that girl has a closet full of secrets. Every broad does.”

Although Madalina’s tale of woe had sort of creeped him out, he was so crazy for her, he had already put it behind him.

“Meanwhile I still can’t believe how you could go and blow this deal after I delivered you the goods and—”

“Could you please just calm down,” said Woody, interrupting. “And let me speak? Madalina didn’t bail. At least, not yet. In fact, I think she might actually believe me.”

“She a psycho or something?”

“No, her people are into magic and curses and shit. You know, Romanians. Gypsies. Count Dracula.”

“Then the whole lot of them is psycho.”

“Guess that makes me a nutcase, too, because, well, here I am talking to a, a, FISH!”

Raymond bent his head. “Point well taken.”

“The bottom line is Madalina just wants proof you exist.”

“Excuse me, but I thought I made it clear that save for your sorry ass, nobody, not even the Pope himself, can request an audience with the Prince?”

“Relax, she knows this isn’t an option.

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