Here and Now, and Forever: Battle Scars #4 by J. P. Webb

Author:J. P. Webb [Webb, J. P.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-04-21T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13.

Jake held onto Pat until he quit struggling, and then until he quit shaking himself. All that he’d felt was terror that Pat was going to run away and he’d never see him again. That wasn’t bearable, and then the knowledge that he needed someone that badly scared him as well. He fought to stay calm on the surface, because that was what Pat needed, but inside he felt like he was being ripped apart.

Holding him tightly, both of them still naked, he thought about what they had been doing and how damn stupid he’d been to let it go that far that fast. Of course Pat would panic, he didn’t have any positive experiences to hold on to, didn’t even know what love was. Jake wasn’t sure that he did either, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with a sweet blond man with soft blue eyes.

When he heard the final piece of the story, the one he’d suspected would be there, he wanted to find that man. He wondered if Pat remembered the guy’s name, and of he could get it out of him sometime. Then he would make a road trip, and show the guy some pain before he killed him. How many other children had he brutalized?

Pat, it turned out, was way ahead of him.

“I went looking for that guy, you know, when I was older and could take care of myself? I had a knife. I was going to kill him. He was already dead, there was this big thing in the paper about it ‘cause some woman had killed him because he was abusing her kid. She got off, ‘cause he was abusing both of them. Go figure, some mothers actually protect their kids.” The bitterness was back in his voice.

Jake had never needed the skills he’d learned in that meditation book so much. Breathe in, breathe out. Center yourself, find the calm within you, stay in the here and now. He wanted to scream out loud and smash things, but he just screamed inside himself, and cried silently for the child that Pat had never had the chance to be.

“Well, you’re not my kid and I don’t want you to be, but I sure wouldn’t mind if you were my lover, my man.” He kissed his neck. “And I’ll protect you as best I can, sweetheart.”

He didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t fix him, he knew that. All he could do was hold onto him when Pat let him, and keep him safe while Pat worked through his own healing. While he was doing that, he could think about how much Pat was coming to mean to him. How dangerous that was going to be for him was something he would think about later.

“Baby, can we try something?”

“Um, maybe?”

“Just loving, no hurting, ever. I just want to hold you, touch you a bit, make you feel good. Making you feel good will make me feel good, too, but I won’t hurt you.

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