Hacker in Love by Lauren Rowe

Author:Lauren Rowe [Rowe, Lauren]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: SoCoRo Publishing
Published: 2023-05-04T16:00:00+00:00

26

HENN

Fuck my life.

I’m no longer losing hope that I’ll be able to solve the Rubik’s cube that is this godawful, endless project. I’m now officially hopeless. Done. Fried. Exhausted beyond anything I’ve experienced before. I’m a human bag of smashed assholes.

I thought I’d be the genius to figure this shit out, after a whole lot of smart hackers before me couldn’t do it. But it turns out I’d vastly overestimated my talents. I’m a mere mortal, as it turns out, and a deluded one, at that. I’m not Superman, after all. I’m Don Fucking Quixote trying to conquer a windmill.

At present, I’m shuffling my sorry ass down the hallway of my budget hotel in DC—the place I’ve called home for what feels like half my fucking life—after a particularly long and brutal day of trying to crack an uncrackable code. It’s now clear all my hard work, all the time away from Hannah and the life we could be building together, has been for naught. Pointless. Futile. The worst mistake of my life.

I was so sure my Big Idea would do the trick today—that, finally, after weeks of methodical coding and tinkering—that fucking encryption would finally become my bitch. And yet, when the time came today, the big payoff I was expecting didn’t happen. Which means I’m now officially stumped because that was my last idea. All that’s left inside my brain now is useless mush, along with a whole lot of frustration and regret.

My head hung low, I reach the door of my hotel room and drag myself inside the drab room. After putting down my keycard and jacket with a heavy sigh, I text Hannah to see if she’s still up and available for our nightly FaceTime call. We normally talk much earlier in the evening than this, so I’m not surprised when she doesn’t reply to my text. She’s probably already fast asleep. Shit. I wish I’d had my phone with me in that small work room, so I could have at least texted her a simple “Goodnight. I love you” a couple hours ago. But, unfortunately, I totally lost track of time when I thought I was on a major roll.

I head into the bathroom and take a hot shower, letting my thoughts wander as I stand under the streaming water. If I hadn’t left for this stupid gig, but had instead stayed in Seattle with Hannah until Jonas and Sarah’s wedding, would Hannah have looked terrified or elated when I kneeled before her that night? Would I be engaged today to the love of my life, if it weren’t for this stupid boondoggle of a fucking job? I guess I’ll never know.

I thought coming here to chase the money would be well worth it. I thought I’d use the reward money to buy a kickass dream house in LA, one that Hannah wouldn’t be able to resist moving into with me. And now, all I’ve got to show for my lengthy time away is homesickness,

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