Good for Nothing by Brandon Graham

Author:Brandon Graham
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2017-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

Regrettable Attempt at Second Breakfast

As Flip rips out of the Bull’s Eye parking lot, a familiar vertigo surges through him, a sense of balancing precariously on the edge of chaos, his toes just gripping the edge, his body swaying over a bottomless precipice.

Buying a gun from a preacher’s kid seems like such a very good idea right now. The emotional seesaw is more than he can handle. One moment he’s up, the next he’s down. One moment he’s excited about being a petty criminal, the next he thinks he’s going to jail. He’s getting away scot-free; he’s pulled into a disturbing vortex of parental concern that he simply isn’t equipped to handle. What does D mean anyway? “. . . it would be the right thing to do.”

He passes a fast-food joint with a giant banner declaring Home of the Breakfast Burger next to a giant glistening, full-color, human-sized image of a burger topped with bacon and a fried egg. He impulsively makes an illegal U-turn in the sparse morning traffic. This earns him a honk and red-faced cursing from a family of four. From the back seat a ten-year-old boy with spiky red hair and a yellow sweater vest uses a Bible to hide a covert middle-finger salute. For a split second this enrages Flip beyond all reason and he considers following the car and ramming it or performing the PIT maneuver, as seen on Cops. Instead he pokes into the Maximum Burger drive-through lane and waits his turn.

There are several cars ahead of him in line. His face is hot, his eyes water, and there is a pressure behind them. He massages his sinuses and wonders what glaucoma feels like. He pulls his car up one spot.

His heart is racing. He rubs his chest with his fingertips. His muscles are sore from the combination of pushups and physical assault. Or I need a pacemaker. He takes a deep breath, holds it, counts in his head, and releases it. He pulls up another spot.

He thinks about seeing his father for dinner. He doesn’t want to. Canceling wouldn’t be so bad. Or maybe just not go, stand his dad up, as his dad had done to him his whole damn life. That would be poetic. But he can’t. He likes to keep his word, and he said he’d be there. He told Dr. Hawkins he’d meet with someone too. Though the criterion was someone who would be supportive, and God knows, no matter how much Flip might want it, his father would never offer any kind of support. The car behind him honks its horn.

Flip sees he can pull ahead, but the honking was unnecessary, so he takes his time. He adjusts the Passat’s rearview to glare at the car behind him; it’s a guy in a super duty work truck. Flip starts to pull up, but his car hesitates, eliciting another long blast from the truck’s horn. Flip gives the car more gas and it lurches ahead.

The work truck pulls close.

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