Every Wrong Reason by Rachel Higginson

Author:Rachel Higginson [Higginson, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance
Publisher: Reckless Siren Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

22. It’s too late for us.

“Am I late?” Kara tossed her coat on the empty chair between us and threw her purse down. Her pale cheeks were rosy from the blustery wind outside and her hair was wild from the short walk to the coffee shop.

Starbucks. Not Eli’s alternate reality coffee purgatory.

“No, I’m early.” I smiled at her, but my face felt oddly stretched and uncomfortable.

The barista at the end of the counter called her name and she left me for a moment to pick up her giant macchiato. She sat back down a minute later and held up her hand for me to stay quiet while she took the first sip of her drink.

This time when I smiled it was small but natural.

“You look like hell,” she murmured after she’d gotten her fix.

“I feel like hell.”

“How was Thanksgiving?”

I thought back to the day spent at my parents’ house. Josh and Emily hadn’t been there. They’d traveled to Emily’s parents’ in Minnesota for the week. It had been an awkward six hours. My dad had spent the entire day watching football and my mom had spent it trying to overfeed me and grill me about Nick.

The turkey took two hours longer than it was supposed to and my pie didn’t turn out- a fact my mother couldn’t help but point out. More than once.

“Awful,” I finally told Kara. “How was yours?”

“Equally awful. Next year let’s have our own celebration. We’ll start new traditions, drink wine all day long and wear sweatpants.”

I perked up a little bit. “That sounds amazing. We’re adults after all. We should be able to spend the day how we want.”

She sat up straighter too. “Just because we don’t have families of our own, doesn’t mean we should be relegated to suffering with our parents for every holiday. Why not come up with our own thing?”

My rising spirits took a sharp plunge and I thought I would be sick. I didn’t want to make this about me. I didn’t want to spend our entire Black Friday psychoanalyzing my depression. But I couldn’t form words.

I couldn’t make anything come out of my mouth.

Kara noticed my change of mood immediately. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to insult you.”

“You didn’t,” I rushed to assure her. “It’s just… I used to have a family, you know? It wasn’t much of one, but it was mine. And now… now I don’t. It’s just weird. It’s, uh, surreal. I’m not sure that I’ve entirely grasped the concept of being alone again.”

“Oh, babe,” Kara sighed. “You don’t have to grasp it yet. And I swear I wasn’t trying to rub it in your face. I just wasn’t thinking.”

“I know. God, I’m sorry. I hate that I’m so self-absorbed. I feel like you’re so sick of me, but I just can’t seem to stop. I thought it would get easier… instead, it just seems to get harder and harder.”

“I’m not sick of you,” Kara assured me. She pushed her wild red hair out of her face and leaned toward me.

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