Complementary Colors by Adrienne Wilder

Author:Adrienne Wilder [Adrienne Wilder]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay & Lesbian, Literature & Fiction, Fiction, Gay, Romance, Gay Romance, Romantic Suspense, Genre Fiction, Mystery & Suspense, Suspense
Amazon: B00L4OF2SQ
Publisher: Adrienne Wilder
Published: 2014-06-18T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

I sat on the couch across the room from a clean canvas. After three days of waiting for the colors to bleed through, it remained blank. The more time passed, the less sure I was the colors had ever existed.

The phone rang. I no longer looked at the caller ID. If it wasn’t Roy, it was Julia, and if it wasn’t Julia, it wasn’t anyone else I wanted to talk to.

The phone stopped.

I kept staring at the canvas.

The setting sun broke over the tops of building and left streaks of bronze sunlight across the tile floor. It turned orange, then red, then a pale purple. Night fell, leaving nothing but me and the canvas.

It remained empty.

I remained empty.

The phone rang again.

I picked up my glass from the side table and drank the last bit of orange juice and vodka. There was no sweetness, no bitterness, just nothing.

Like the canvas.

Like me.

I rubbed my face, pushed back my bangs, and found myself tugging at the hairs on the back of my head. They were almost long enough to pull, but not quite.

“I’m sorry…”

“Yeah, you should be.” I stood. “You should be, Roy. You should be so fucking sorry.” My voice bounced off the walls of the empty studio.

“I shouldn’t have…”

“Shouldn’t have what? Given me the best fuck of my life? Or maybe it was everything else. Dinner, the wine, your goddamned cardboard sled.” I wiped out a tray of brushes sitting on one of the worktables. “Or maybe it was…”

“One kiss…”

I touched my lips.

Brushing my teeth, showering, doing it all over again could only erase Roy from my skin but never my mind. He was gouged so deep that thoughts of him scarred my bones.

I leaned against the workbench. The spiraling helplessness inside me promised dark and terrible places I’d sworn I’d never go.

“I don’t care.”

My breath rattled.

“I don’t care if you don’t want me.”

My heart ached.

“I don’t care if I disgust you.”

My voice cracked, and my words shattered. I clutched my chest, trying to crush the pain.

“Fuck you.” Closing my eyes forced me to relive the sadness in Roy’s gaze. “Fuck you.”

I didn’t need him. I didn’t want him.

And I’d prove it.

I grabbed my coat and left the apartment.

Melted snow made streams in the gutters and left gaps on the sidewalk. The city had revived thanks to layers of salt and sand on the streets. I could have taken a cab, but my legs refused to quit moving.

I passed through a crowd lingering at the front of a shop, went around two teens on bikes, and stopped at the corner. Car horns blared as I crossed on the red light.

Three blocks down, I took a left and headed toward a cluster of pimped out cars carrying violent melodies. Fishnet and stiletto heels clashed with faux fur coats and leather jackets outside the entrance of the Diablo. A man with a Mohawk whistled at me as I walked by. I could have picked him, but he wasn’t dangerous enough.

The floor wasn’t as packed as I remembered, but the young faces and groping hands were all the same.

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