Chasing Ecstasy (Fire & Vice Book 9) by Nikita Slater

Author:Nikita Slater [Slater, Nikita]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-04-25T18:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

15 minutes earlier

Cass sat next to Luke on the bed, her legs crossed in the most comfortable position she could manage given her advanced state of pregnancy. She barely noticed the passage of time as she watched over him. Her thoughts were not on him, though. Or at least not entirely.

She was thinking about Ruiz. About what he’d said. What he’d implied.

It forced her to look closer at what she was doing to those around to her. She’d spent her life at the mercy of men. She was used to letting life happen to her, instead of directing her own life. Even Luke. He’d been handsome and convenient. He’d been there when she’d needed physical affection, but did she love him? Enough to make a life with him?

The answer was no. Maybe it would have been different a year ago, before she met Ruiz. Maybe she would have believed that love was what she shared with Nic’s second-in-command.

Now that she knew Ruiz, she knew she was wrong. Ruiz made everything so… easy. He was easy to talk to, easy to be with. He treated her with love and respect. She wanted to be with him all the time.

Yes, she was pregnant with Luke’s child, but that didn’t mean she had to spend her life in a bad relationship.

Neither of them asked for the baby, though she saw it was a blessing, while he ignored its existence.

She looked down at Luke, then brushed her fingertips over his blond spiky hair.

He looked so young when he was sleeping. Despite having been with him for years, she rarely saw him sleep. He preferred to sleep alone. Said he was more comfortable that way.

“I do love you,” she whispered. “But like a brother or a friend. Okay, not a very good friend, because you’ve never watched RuPaul with me or shared a carton of ice cream.”

She giggled as she thought about Ruiz. They watched every episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race together, fighting over which queen they wanted to win, which queen they wanted to become Miss Congeniality, outfits, shoes, dance moves.

Ruiz had learned all of her favourite things because he loved her and wanted to be part of the things she loved. He even kept a baby tracker app on his phone, so knew every step of her Peanut’s development.

“I have to tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Luke mumbled.

His light blue eyes were open, but they were cloudy.

“That I love him,” she whispered.

“Okay,” he said, his eyes blinking closed. “Get me a glass of water on your way out?”

Cass smiled and slid from the bed. She went out to the kitchen and poured Luke a glass of water. She watched over him while he drank it, then settled back onto the pillows.

As she turned to leave, he mumbled, “Where’re you going?”

So, he hadn’t understood her when they spoke a few minutes earlier. She thought about trying to explain but decided now wasn’t the time. Luke needed to be clear-headed before they had a conversation that would turn their lives upside down.

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