Blind Dates by Gordon Macmillan

Author:Gordon Macmillan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hera
Published: 2022-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

I read the words over, and then hit send, not bothering to see if anything happens as I fully expect nothing will. Putting my phone in my pocket, I finish my beer and leave the bar, before heading down into the interior of the bookshop and the fiction section on the first floor. If nothing else, buying a book always cheers me up when I’m feeling down.

A few people are sitting in the scattered armchairs, and a dozen or so more are shelf-surfing. With no author destination in mind, I start drifting from display table to display table and stop at American Contemporary. Then I look up—and do a double-take.

There’s Beth.

She’s across the room, standing by a table of contemporary women’s fiction, holding a book. I forgot she works nearby. It is the first time I have seen her in a long time. She is dressed in a black tea dress; her blonde hair is much longer than I remember. It is like post-lockdown hair that she has rolled with. It is down to her shoulders, and it suits her, she looks great.

I remember how Beth and I talked about books when we first met, and how Wuthering Heights was a novel that we both loved. We re-read it together, discussing it as we went. After that book, we continued to choose other books taking it in turns to pick, and without even thinking about it, we formed Beth and Tom’s private book club. I miss that as well.

I find myself looking at Beth, smiling. Then experience a terrible sinking feeling as I realise Beth is not my mystery date. I am lost for a moment in thought, and my mind is swimming. If not Beth, then who? I have no idea.

I consider two options. 1) To stay and say what needs to be said; or 2) to leave. Despite obsessing and thinking through what I could say to Beth, the first thought that pops uninvited into my head is to do the latter; to turn around and leave before she sees me. That way I can avoid any difficult conversation. Running is not the answer, but I cannot bring myself to say what I need to. Besides, after so much time has passed, I’m not sure Beth would even want to hear it.

I steel myself, take a breath, and walk towards Beth. She doesn’t look up, and I stand by the table, almost alongside her, before she notices me. She is holding a copy paperback copy of The Year of Magical Thinking, which strikes me as a perfect title for the days in which we have been living because we need, perhaps, some magic in our lives. I could definitely do with some now.

‘Any good?’ I ask.

Beth looks up, half smiling before she sees who is speaking.

‘Oh, look who it is,’ she says.

Thrown off-balance by her hostility, I force a smile and try to recover. At the very least, I want to tell her that it is good to see her, as it is.

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