Big Daddy by Ava Sinclair

Author:Ava Sinclair [Sinclair, Ava]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Stormy Night Publications
Published: 2018-01-04T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

Max wants to talk about what precipitated my raid on the liquor cabinet, so I issue a partial confession. I tell him about running into Becky at the post office, about how diminished she made me feel. He asks me about Becky, and I tell him about how we roomed together, how I often made things difficult with my emotional problems, even as she worked to put herself through school.

His initial reply doesn’t make me feel any better.

“You have to look at it from her point of view,” he says. “She’s worked hard all her life, has done everything right. And she runs into someone she had to kick out only to find that person the very image she’s striving for? How would it make you feel?”

“I wouldn’t be a bitch about it,” I say.

He grows quiet. “Are you sure?” he asks.

It seems like an odd question, but I know what he’s doing. Rather than agreeing with me, he’s making me think, to see how my behavior might affect someone else.

“I’d like to think I wouldn’t, anyway,” comes my revised answer.

“That didn’t make what she did right, Jill,” he continues. “But it does make it understandable. I don’t think the worst part for you was her cruelty. The worst part was how it played on your fears.” He pauses. “Tell me. How does it make you feel, knowing that I’m paying for everything now, from your personal debts to the clothes on your back to the food you eat?”

I’m struck by how well he knows me. As comfortable as I am with him, this complete dependence does make me feel uneasy.

“It scares me,” I say. “You could throw me out at any time.”

“I could,” he says.

“I’d end up worse off than I was.”

“You would.” He sighs and sits back. It’s been a week since he came home to find me drinking. Since then, he’s seamlessly moved me from the dependent child role to one as his adult lover several times. I can always tell by his demeanor toward me which one he expects. Today, he’s giving me fatherly counsel in a small café nestled between two tony shops on the third floor of Ingram Tower. It’s our first public meal together, and it feels odd to have such an intense conversation here, but Max has a way of making me feel safe anywhere now.

“Jill, I can promise you that I won’t just cut you loose. As long as you’re with me, young lady, I’m going to spend my time making you feel happy and secure and loved. And I promise you that, should we go our separate ways, you’ll do so as a stronger woman capable of standing on your own two feet.”

“I understand.” I try to blink back the tears. “You may eventually decide you don’t want me.”

He leans forward. “Jill,” he says. “That’s not what I’m saying.” He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. He regards me for a moment. “Has it occurred to me that eventually you may not want me?”

“That’s ridiculous,” I assert.

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