Badass(ish) by Jaymie Heilman

Author:Jaymie Heilman [Heilman, Jaymie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Young Adult, Fiction, Social Themes, Activism, Social Justice, Self-Esteem, Self-Reliance, Diversity, Multicultural
ISBN: 9781553806905
Publisher: Ronsdale Press
Published: 2023-09-25T00:00:00+00:00

“Renzi!”

Renzi pulls the spoon from her mouth, knowing exactly why her brother is yelling. She shoves the empty flan dish under her bed as Lino stomps down the hallway to her room. As she pushes the dish, she accidentally knocks over the new water bottle that Davis gave her this morning. “Because you broke yours,” Davis had explained. “In the hallway. Remember?”

Renzi had not remembered, at least not until Davis had reminded her. Davis’s replacement bottle wasn’t nearly as pretty as the one Renzi had broken. But it was a thousand times more beautiful.

Lino storms into Renzi’s room without knocking. “Where is it, Renzi? I made that flan for dinner with Julian tonight.” Lino’s voice is quiet and controlled. They are a yelling kind of family. A high-volume hollering kind of trio. If Lino isn’t screaming at her, that means he is seriously pissed.

Her only option is to tell the truth.

She sets the water bottle upright and pulls the pan and spoon out from under her bed. Staring at the floor, she asks, “Have you ever cheated on a friend?”

“A friend? Is that what you’re calling my boyfriends now? Carajo. You sound like Tía Isa.”

Renzi puts her face on her knees. And she starts to cry. Actual tears. Lino sits on Renzi’s bed and nudges her gently with his foot. “Spill, Renzita. What’s going on?”

“It’s just a stupid guy. The one who showed up with the envelope of cash right before Valentine’s Day. He’s the same guy who kept texting and phoning when we were on the Island. Jae hates his guts — and you know Jae, she doesn’t hate anyone. But when he came here with all that money for the generator, we kissed, even though he was with someone else. Not Jae, but another girl. And I hate that I did that. I hate it. I even made friends with that other girl — sort of to apologize, and to make sure I’d keep myself away from him. And it turns out that I really like this girl. Way more than I ever liked the guy, and we’re working on this big protest thing together, and if she finds out the truth about what I did, then I’ll lose her and Jae.”

“Do you have feelings for him?” Lino lowers himself onto the floor beside Renzi.

Renzi shakes her head, wipes her face with her sleeve. “No. Yes. I mean, I am stupidly, horribly attracted to him. Attracted in a way that I never even knew was possible. But he drives me berserk, and I can’t stand the way he mansplains, and he doesn’t listen or take no for an answer. So I guess that’s a no, but my heart still races when I’m around him. And I think about him more than I want to admit. And I hate that. I hate that about myself.”

Lino puts his arm around Renzi and draws her to him. He rests his chin on top of her head. “Renzita, I’d tell you this love versus attraction stuff gets easier, but I’d be lying.

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