Anything to Declare? by Jon Frost

Author:Jon Frost
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781472109446
Publisher: Constable & Robinson

Part 2: Undercover (On the Knock)

15. Joining the Fun Factory: Checking in to Charlie Hotel

The Intel team at Stansted had expanded and we all had our own specialist skills: mine were lock-picking, outbound baggage rummage, a nose for drugs runners and, weirdly, seeming to know every Turkish smuggler south of the Humber. I was also training BAA security in concealments – that is, the smugglers’ nefarious art of hiding their contraband. This was all well and good but I guess that most people at some point reflect on their work position, and I’d got to that stage. I had an itch that needed a good scratch. I decided that I wanted another challenge in life and that challenge would be the Customs Investigation Division (ID).

The ID had always been a ghost organization to us in uniform. We were aware of their existence and we knew that they were supposed to be the elite investigation unit in UK law enforcement, but other than that we knew very little. Even a couple of months of searching for details about the ID when I was still in Intel revealed very little about them – they tended to keep themselves to themselves.

My big break came with the announcement in the department weekly orders (DWO) of an ID recruitment trawl. These were few and far between: the last one had been eighteen months before and, to my knowledge, very few people got through it. So, with nothing to lose, I sent for the application form. What I received back was more than a form; it looked like very hard work. In fact, it was so comprehensive that it took a good two weeks to complete. I even sat down with a mate (who we called Reverend G.) who was already in the ID and we went through it together. Following his good advice, I ripped it up and started again, checked it with the Revd, and then ripped it up and started yet again. Finally, off went the form with a cheery smile and I instantly forgot about it. My hopes weren’t that high.

It took a month for the ID sifting team to go through the applications. They had a few hundred applications and only a limited number of vacancies. I was lucky enough to get selected for an interview. But things in the Civil Service are never simple so it wasn’t a case of just turning up for an interview. The next step was an ID recruitment interview course, which would take a couple of days at the Customs Training Unit, Heathrow. There, we were put through mock interviews, taught how to answer questions and what questions to ask back to the panel. London Airports Collection (the overseeing Customs body for the major London airports) wanted to be known as the best region when it came to turning out officers with the right stuff for the ‘elite’ Investigation Division.

I turned up for the interview with my head near full of questions and answers, standing straight as a guardsman and dapper-suited.

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