Afraid to Fly by L. A. Witt

Author:L. A. Witt [Witt, L. A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Published: 2017-01-13T18:30:00+00:00

That night was one of the longest I’d had in recent memory. I drifted in and out of sleep. Never far enough to dream, and definitely never far enough to get any rest. When the birds started chirping and the morning light knifed its way through the edges of the downturned blinds, I was both frustrated and relieved. I hadn’t had nearly enough sleep, but there hadn’t been any night terror disasters. So . . . kind of a win? Not a complete loss?

Travis must’ve finally fallen asleep, and he was still out, so I quietly got out of bed and went downstairs to put on the coffee.

He wasn’t far behind, shuffling into the kitchen in his boxers as I was taking my first desperately needed sip.

“Morning,” I said.

“Morning.” He rubbed his hand over his unshaven jaw. “I smell coffee, right? I’m not hallucinating?”

“Nope. Not hallucinating.” I pushed a mug toward him on the counter. “Help yourself.”

“Thanks.”

As he poured his coffee, I asked, “You get any sleep?”

Travis yawned, shaking his head. “I’d be lying if I said I did.”

Awkward silence elbowed its way in between us. We sipped our coffee, but didn’t look at each other and didn’t speak until I finally couldn’t take any more.

“Listen.” I set my coffee cup down. “Maybe we should get this out in the open.”

Travis swallowed. “Okay?”

“We know we both have PTSD. And that it apparently comes out when we sleep.”

He nodded, suppressing a shudder. “Yeah. It does. Do you get flashbacks during the day? Anything like that?”

Avoiding his eyes, I fidgeted. “Sometimes. Nightmares more than anything.” I paused. “The nightmares are almost constant, but it takes a lot—like some really bad stress—to set off a flashback.”

“Almost constant?” He shifted his weight. “Like, every night?”

I nodded, face burning as if it were something to be ashamed of. “Sometimes more than once.”

“Jesus. That must be hard to live with.”

“That’s why I usually don’t ask anyone else to live with it.”

Travis came closer and put his forearms on my shoulders. “I meant it must be hard for you to live with. You’re the one who has the nightmares.”

“I know.” I dropped my gaze again. “But you have them too.”

“And does that make you any less inclined to stay the night with me?”

“No.”

He smiled. “Same here. So, I think we’ll be all right.”

I rested my hands on his waist. “Nightmares are kind of a regular thing for me, though. But sometimes they’re . . .”

“Really bad?”

“Really bad.”

He grimaced. “Yeah. Mine too. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.” He reached up and touched my face. “So it’s out in the open. We know it’s bound to happen sooner or later. Eventually, one of us is going to have a really bad episode and the other’s going to be there for it.”

I shuddered. “Can’t wait.”

“Yeah. I know. Me too. But I mean, if and when it does happen, we both know what it is. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

I chewed my lip. “True.”

“We can ease into it if you want.

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