A Harmless Little Plan (Harmless #3) by Meli Raine

Author:Meli Raine [Raine, Meli]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-12-12T23:00:00+00:00

Lindsay

I am turned slightly away from the door. I smell Drew’s aftershave before he even sets one foot inside the room. My stomach flip-flops.

Not yet.

Not now.

I’m not really here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want him to see me like this.

I don’t want anyone to see me like this.

No. Scratch that.

I don’t want anyone to see me ever.

Too much of me has been seen. Too much of me has been stripped naked before the world, bloodied and bruised, my fury worn as my only weapon and exposed for consideration and judgment. John didn’t just kidnap me. He stole me. He stole me and delivered me to Stellan and Blaine and they took my humanity – again – and turned me into an animal.

Only this time, I was awake for all of it. Aware. Sentient and breathing and afraid and terrified to the point where I just can’t be who I was before.

He stole who I am and scraped it clean off me, like a car stripped of all its value, the important parts gleaned, the rest an empty shell no one wants.

A nuisance.

A pile of non-functioning junk.

The sound of Drew’s even breath makes me close my eyes and slow my own respiration. If I pretend to be asleep, maybe he’ll go away.

His scent gets stronger. I feel heat to my right, like he’s radiating it outward.

Even though my eyes are closed, I can tell when he’s next to me. He doesn’t touch the bed. A shadow changes the light behind my eyelids, and his heat intensifies. There’s more than simple warmth there. It’s a kind of compassion that takes on temperature, as if goodness can be calibrated to produce light.

I don’t deserve that.

I know he’s in pain. I know I should reach out, should heal, should work together with him.

If nothing else, he should be thanked.

But the thoughts tumble together with hard, sharp edges of memory. The shards of terror embed themselves in my bloodstream, floating like inner tubes on a lazy river, waiting to be caught on rocks and long, thick logs made of dead trees that just haven’t rotted to pulp yet.

If memory is a mother, protecting us from the worst the world throws our way, then the present – the achingly slow now that rolls out second by second, never rushed by intent or desire – is a bully.

The present hurts me right now. It hurts to be here, to be aware, to be so close to Drew and yet so far away.

He has no idea how distant I really am.

And frankly, neither do I.

“Lindsay.” My name coming from his mouth brings me back to his bedroom, a place of sanctuary and passion that was destroyed by Stellan, John and Blaine. When I hear his voice, all I can see is Blaine on top of me, groping, his hand a final insult as I gave up on Drew.

I say nothing. I’m dying a thousand deaths inside. I slow my breath. Maybe if I slow

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