Through the Years by Brynn Stein

Author:Brynn Stein [Stein, Brynn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2014-10-06T00:00:00+00:00

Eleven

I STARTED working on PT after that and eventually was able to walk as well as normal. I got weak faster than I used to and stumbled sometimes when I was tired, but mobility was definitely improved. I struggled with buttons and zippers for a long time.

Speech took just as long. I wouldn’t talk as much as I used to. Eventually I was able to make the actual sounds about as well as normal, but it took too much effort, so I didn’t bother unless it was important. It wasn’t from depression anymore—well, not just from depression. I wasn’t as talkative—didn’t want to talk—as much anymore. Edward said that my basic personality had changed some because of the head injury. Not as bad as it could have been, but I was more introspective and quicker to get frustrated. I tended to have some impulse-control problems for a long time, but at least I didn’t throw things anymore. I said what I thought more often. When I was inclined to talk at all, I was less tactful, less diplomatic. Okay, hardly diplomatic at all for a while.

But for the most part, I was back to normal.

I never moved out of Edward’s house. I couldn’t face living in the house I’d shared with Nick. Edward and Rob helped me sell it, and instead of finding another place to live, Edward convinced me to stay put. We exchanged the hospital bed for a double bed and the PT equipment for a weight system. We kept the dresser. The easy-to-open handles came in handy when I was tired.

Sharon was still dating Edward, but it wasn’t as regular as it had been before the attack. Edward had spent so much time with me during those first several months that Sharon had decided to see other people as well. Edward was cool with it. Neither of them wanted a committed relationship, so it worked for them. Sharon was okay with me living with Edward. She knew nothing was going on, though she suspected there had been a time when Edward might have wanted a relationship with me. She was fine with that too.

She told me once that knowing in advance that the relationship wasn’t going to be a lifelong commitment made it easier to accept whatever came along and said that she planned to enjoy spending time with Edward when they could, for as long as they could, and then she would move on when they were both ready. Sometime between ’86 and ’89, Sharon decided the time had come. Edward wasn’t upset and didn’t bother to date anyone else.

Things were more laid-back between Edward and me, though. With him attending AA meetings and staying sober, we didn’t have the awkward moments we’d had before when we were alone. He accepted that friendship was all we would ever have, and I was more than okay with it. My sex drive was unusually low on the best of days, and it was years before I considered wanting sex from someone other than Nick.

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