The Fool by P. J. Belden

Author:P. J. Belden [Belden, P. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-04-14T05:00:00+00:00

Last night was a very long sleepless night. Today has been unproductive as far as writing or anything else. Instead of trying to clear my head and think about Xander and I and what the right thing to do is, I chose to fall back to an old habit. Clearing my head, I spent the whole day out on my deck staring out at the water and realizing that I have to let him go. So instead of dressing up for him, I wear jeans and a t-shirt. It’ll be easier to get drunk that way when I let him out of his need of obligation. Whether he feels it right now or not, I believe at this point that’s what I am for him. He made the strong effort to push forward with our relationship. Forced me past my comfort zones on so many things. Now, I think he owes it to me to stay. Well, he doesn’t. He deserves happiness, true happiness. I love him enough to know, I need to let him go so he can have that.

When I arrive at the bar, he is already there texting away on his phone. By the smile on his face, I know that I’m making the right decision.

“Hey,” I say standing in front of him.

He jumps slightly. “Hey… I thought we were dressing up,” he looks confused. Xander looks hands too. He’s wearing black slacks that hug all the right places with a blue button up dress shirt that reminds me of past pain, but really looks great on him. At least he tried to be a part of this day, even if his mine – and more than likely his heart – isn’t truly here.

“Nah, I’m going in here to get drunk. You can leave.”

There’s a long pause, and I turn to walk into the bar. His tone of voice stops me in my tracks.

“He’s not coming back, you know?” Xander spits out almost angrily.

“Excuse me,” I ask, turning around and facing him. Shock fills every part of my body as the betrayal I feel from him fills me. He’s making this about me.

“He’s gone, Waverly.” He says softer and stepping closer to me. “I’m standing right here trying to love you.”

Wiping the tears that fall unchecked down my cheeks, I smile sadly as I shake my head softly. He truly can’t see that he’s not really here and hasn’t been since for at least the past couple of months. The question is now, does he really not see that or is he trying to not hurt my feelings?

“No, you aren’t. You don’t try to love someone you just do.” Walking closer to him, I put my hands on his cheeks. “I’m not angry, but you haven’t been the same for a couple months now and definitely not since you found out you’re going to be a father. Which, by the way, I know was long before you told me. But that’s okay, you love her.”

“Waverly listen…” Xander tries to interrupt.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.