Ricochet by Kathryn Berla
Author:Kathryn Berla
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Thrillers & Suspense / Science Fiction / General / Family / Parents
Publisher: North Star Editions
Published: 2019-08-19T15:56:32+00:00
Chapter 17
Tati
One piece of the puzzle is solved. I now know where I belong. I belong with my parents. I belong with Priya. And I belong to the girl with the blue bedspread. I made a promise to Priya that Iâd report anything unusual to my parents, but I canât keep that promise. The girl, whose name is Ana, has transformed me. Sheâs replaced my fear and frustration with confidence and curiosity. Even Priyaâs noticed, although she doesnât know the reason why.
This has to be real, because I donât want to go back to the old Tati with all her insecurities and clinginess. At the same time, I have sympathy for her. For me. And thatâs something new because, before Ana, it seemed like I spent a lot of time wanting to kick my own ass. Now I can stand outside of myself and see things more clearlyâliterally outside of myself. Iâve given up on my need for control over the me-zures because, after all, I had no control to begin with, so what was the use of pretending I did? Iâve given in to the unknowable and cast aside my doubts about Priya. Then a surprising thing happened. By giving up my need for control, I suddenly had controlâover myself, at least, and how I respond to a situation.
People are afraid of the unknown, so why should Priya be different? She has to deal with her own unknownsâthe fear of rejection when she finally lets her parents see whatâs inside her heart, whoâs inside her heart. And if I can get past my fear, I hope, one day when sheâs ready, Priya can get past hers too. In the meantime, I can only support her with unconditional love and acceptance, the same way she supports me. The same way my parents support me. And Ana.
I have no idea why, but there has to be a reason Ana is happening to me.
Iâm able to visit her at will. I canât describe how I do itâI simply think it and the tunnel appears before me. A few years ago, Mom signed me up for a series of biofeedback classes to help me deal with the stress of what I then thought were seizures. After about ten classes, I could think my hands into warming up a few degrees. At the time, it seemed like a huge accomplishment. Now, using the same techniqueâfocused concentrationâI can think my way into the tunnel that whooshes me into Anaâs life and Anaâs world, which isnât so different from mine. I visit her nearly every night and sheâs always waiting for me. For some reason, she canât come to me, even though we see the same tunnel and have the same episodes, as she used to call them. After I told her about me-zures, she started referring to them the same way. She tries to climb into the tunnel when it appears, but she hasnât been able to make it inside. She doesnât understand when I explain how I do it, but in fairness I can barely explain it to myself.
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