Pucker Up: (Kiss Talent Agency Series, Book Four) by Virna DePaul

Author:Virna DePaul
Language: eng
Format: epub

Chapter 13

Jenna

* * *

Of course, I knew Lee was serious. At least, I’d started to believe he was, when the shock wore off.

Lee was a player but he wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t mean. He wasn’t inexperienced.

He wouldn’t say he wanted a relationship with me unless he really did.

But I ruined it. Actually, ruined is too kind a word for what I did. I demolished it? I butchered it? I smashed it and left it in a ditch on the side of an abandoned highway? Yep, that's probably the closest description of exactly how terribly I acted.

I'm driving back to my apartment with my ass sticking to the car’s leather seat, because I darted away wearing only Lee's chef jacket. I roll down the window and lean my head toward the blast of cool air.

What would have happened if I had said yes? If I hadn't pretended it was all a massive joke? If I hadn't shoveled food in my mouth and dashed away half naked?

I know what would have happened - I would be in a relationship with Lee. Just like he wanted.

For the moment.

It’s what I’ve dreamed about since practically the day I met him. Back then, I secretly wrote his initials on my middle school notebooks and strategically flipped the top of a soda can so it popped off on the letter 'L'. Because every middle school girl knew that meant I’d marry someone with a first name starting with 'L'.

As I grew older and Lee grew older, it turned into something deeper. But it also became more and more apparent that it would never happen.

I accepted that. I stopped dreaming of what it would be like to wake up next to Lee every morning, watch him cook, just enjoy being near him. But now as I’m driving, all those dreams flood back into my mind.

It doesn't matter, I tell myself, rolling up the window and shaking my head clear of those long-ago cherished dreams. I said no. Well, not exactly, but the effect was the same. I said no, and that was the right thing to say.

That's what I need to focus on. Rationality. Logic. Safe decisions.

Lee hasn't changed. He’d enjoy a serious relationship with me for a week or a month. But soon enough, he'd see a model walk through his restaurant. She'd be offering a wild night of partying followed by no strings attached sex. And he'd have to decide between that and a stuffy, boring work party he agreed to attend as my date. He could make that sacrifice for me once or twice, but not a lifetime. Eventually, he'd rub my arms and gently tell me it's not working, and I'd act like I agreed.

But it would crush me.

My doorman gives me an odd look as I walk past, and I realize I probably should have changed. I shrug.

“Weird night,” I tell him.

“Should I be expecting your boyfriend to coming sprinting in again tonight?” he asks.

“Oh, he's just a client.”

My doorman nods politely, and only then am I aware how terrible that sounded.

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