Outwait by Lisa Suzanne

Author:Lisa Suzanne [Suzanne, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Amazon: B06XPYDTTP
Goodreads: 34639865
Published: 2017-05-31T23:00:00+00:00

* * *

William is home earlier than normal from the gym. I hear the garage door open as I stand in my closet, giving myself a final onceover. My heart thuds in my chest as I listen to that door. It’s not a happy thud, and it’s certainly not the thud I felt when I spotted Carson in reception earlier today. This one is a little annoyed, a little fearful. I was hoping to get out the door before William came in it.

Pink Agave isn’t super formal, and tonight I want comfort. I pulled on my favorite pair of jeans, a black top with white polka dots that carefully hugs my curves, and black boots with heels. I hate heels, to be honest, but I have to wear them, tonight especially. Without them, I only stand about five feet, four inches. With heels, though, I feel taller, and that gives me confidence. Plus, heels make me feel powerful and sexy. I’d prefer my Nikes for added comfort, but I need something to at least make me feel like I’m in a power position. Carson tends to strip that from me.

I grab my handbag and make my way downstairs. William is in the kitchen chugging water from his sports bottle.

He narrows his eyes at me. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Can we talk?”

I glance at the clock on our oven. “I’m running late.”

“For what?”

“A business dinner.”

“With who?”

“None of your business.”

He sighs. “I thought we moved past the anger thing. Are you mad at me again?”

“Still.”

“Sylvie, we can’t keep on like this.”

I shrug. “Should have thought of that before you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie. I never lied. I was trying to protect you.”

“Bullshit.”

He flinches backward like I physically slapped him, and I want to roll my eyes at his dramatics.

“Are we over?” he asks. His voice is hard—harder than I’ve ever heard from him.

“I honestly don’t know, William. I’m angry, and even though I’ve really tried, the anger hasn’t diminished at all.”

“Even after we made love the other day?”

I almost roll my eyes. “Yeah, even after that.”

“What can I do? I can’t live in limbo like this.”

“I don’t know.”

“That can’t be your answer.”

“But it is. I don’t know how you can fix this, and I don’t know if we belong together. I don’t know if I can marry someone who keeps important things from me.”

He nods. He looks like a wounded puppy dog, and I feel like a royal bitch. “I understand.”

“Do you?” I ask.

“Yes. I’m so, so sorry, Sylvie. I handled everything wrong, but I love you, and I want to work this out with you. I can’t keep living in fear that you might end things with me at any second.”

I sigh. He’s right. I haven’t been fair to him, and we both deserve to either move forward together or move on.

It’s not that simple, though. We’ve merged our lives together. The thought of leaving him terrifies me, but the thought of staying with him is equally scary.

I don’t know what to do, and I don’t even know who to talk to about it.

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