One by Clare Payne

Author:Clare Payne [ Payne, Clare]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780522872552
Publisher: Melbourne University Publishing

Single Men

Many of the prejudices against single women are well understood, but what about single men? We certainly hear less about them. Some may see the traits attributed to him, like being a ‘playboy’ or a ‘ladies’ man’, as complimentary. However, it’s worth taking a closer look at what’s inferred and the implications for the single man’s life, whether he knows it or not.

From Bad Boys to Playboys

It’s not uncommon for single men to be called ‘bad boys’, ‘Peter Pans’ or ‘playboys’. Through such a label alone, the single man’s level of maturity is judged to be infantile. According to the bad boy stereotype, he is reckless and likely to be thought of as a (heavy) drinker, drug taker and general risk taker—he may drive a fast car too. The playboy, on the other hand, may be seen as more sophisticated—he owns a luxury fast car and drinks whisky rather than a six-pack of beer—but he’s still just a boy who plays like a child in an adult arena. A Peter Pan quite simply is the boy who never grows up. The judgement across all these stereotypes is that the life a single man leads is not really acceptable because he’s not enough of an adult.

The playboy may also be referred to as a ‘ladies’ man’ or a ‘skirt man’. He can be painted as manipulative in his social interactions with women, self-serving and hurtful, without regard for other’s feelings. Also, he just won’t ‘settle down’; like other singles, he’s thought to be in a phase, suggesting his existence is somehow transitory. People may joke about his (presumed) empty fridge and imagine he eats pizza straight from the box on the couch by himself, topping it off with an unabashed belch. His bachelor pad, the place to which he lures women, is thought to be a mess (akin to that of a university student) because surely he can’t look after himself.

In popular culture, the bachelor is often depicted as slovenly and undomesticated. If he is neat and shows interest in his appearance or home, then he may be accused of being a mummy’s boy, a psycho (the film didn’t help) or gay (whether he is or not). It would seem he can’t win. The single man can’t just be sophisticated, mature or a nice guy; instead, he’s often fed into one stereotype or another, and they’re mostly negative.

Creepy Guys

Some of the stereotypes are much more sinister, such as when single men are accused of being creepy. Single men are far less likely to be left alone with other people’s children, and on occasion might be banned from children’s parks. At worst, they’re thought to be predatory, even paedophiles. Like the single woman, they might subsequently approach family and friends’ gatherings with trepidation. If he plays too much with the children, he’s a big kid, having never grown up. If he wanders into a child’s room, another adult may feel they should check on him. If he shows no interest in the children, he’s thought to not understand kids or parenthood.

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