My Biggest Mistake by Leddy Harper

Author:Leddy Harper [Harper, Leddy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Leddy Harper
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

I sat on the back patio at my in-law’s house and watched the kids play in the back yard. They still had the same swing set that they had purchased just before Livvy turned one, and I watched in a daze as she swung back and forth in the swing, kicking her legs out and tucking them back in. I watched, remembering when I used to swing her in the red plastic baby swing when she was little.

I didn’t know how I felt as my mind went back and forth from that memory to the present. Swinging her on the swing set used to bring me so much joy. She’s laugh so hard she’d hiccup and throw her head back. Now, she held on to the chains on either side of her and stared up at the sky in silence as she went forward then backward, no longer needing someone to push her.

I wanted to know what went through her head, and if my actions affected that in any way. I worried about the damage my absence had caused her and her brothers, and hoped to God that it wasn’t permanent. They were still so young that I at least had a chance of repairing any damage I’d caused, but that couldn’t have been said for everyone else.

Once we made it to Donnie’s parents’ house, I quickly followed Livvy to the backyard, avoiding Allen and Dorothy Leery. I knew how rude I must’ve seemed, but my churning stomach didn’t allow me to act any differently. I needed a moment in order to gather my thoughts and courage before facing the two people that had been my own parents since I was fifteen. I needed to find my confidence before facing the hurt and betrayal I had left them with.

Donnie stayed inside with the boys while I sat on the patio, so when I heard the slider open and then close, I assumed it was him. It wasn’t until the scent of gardenia filled my nose before I realized it wasn’t Donnie, but his mother instead. My heart raced in my chest, my hands began to shake, and the threat of tears burned my nose and eyes. I couldn’t look at her. I knew if I did, I would lose every ounce of composure I fought desperately to hold on to.

“They grow up so quickly, don’t they?” she asked from her seat next to me.

The sight of Livvy swinging by herself began to turn fuzzy, alerting me that I had lost the battle against my own tears. “Yes, they do.” I didn’t have the strength to say more. In fact, I didn’t have the strength to even say that, but I had to answer with something and allowed the choked words to escape.

“You’ve missed a lot, Idelette. And a lot of that you won’t ever be able to get back. But the one thing you have on your side is that they are young, and forgiveness comes easy to them.

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