Kalhoun by Kyler Doss

Author:Kyler Doss
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: tween, gay boys, scared love, 7th grade, boy meets boy, boy-girl party, dear diary, repressed, school dance, love letters, character name in title, junior high romance, art class, feelings denied, clean language, gay interest, normal boys, friendship between boys, gay crush, gay kiss, straight acting
Publisher: Kyler Doss
Published: 2020-06-09T00:00:00+00:00

4

The nite

DEAR TEX,

That was fun.

I've got my grape juice here and I've got to write to you about how the dance went. It's like the nite of the boy-girl party and neither one of them went the way I thought they were supposed to.

I mean, the boy-girl party is not where you are driving around with some girl's father who probably knows that you like some boy and he wants to make sure you are okay. When I heard about those parties in the summer, that's not what I thought.

I probably had a better idea of what a school dance would be like. You go there and they have music and dancing and punch to drink. You might see some parents or teachers you know and their job is to see to it the boys don't try and kiss the girls.

Everything was almost normal when we met up for the dance. By the time me and you got to the fields, I could see how something was different. We had just started to cross them and you are like, it's really early.

We wanted to get there early and I thought that's what we were doing.

You are like, let's go sit on the bank.

We go over there and sit down a little ways up the grass, it's not much of a hill.

I guess we are killing time.

You go, I'm not gonna dance tonite.

How come?

It's stupid.

Yeah.

I didn't know that's how you felt about it. Maybe you don't think you dance good but you do.

The reason I don't like it is the same reason it was when I first heard about it. Boys dance with girls. There's nothing there to like.

Why we are going is because everybody goes and it's a way for me to be with you until I lose you. The girls like you. One of them is going to steal you. There's nothing I can do about it except spend as much time with you as I can, not that it changes anything.

I dream about you, that's my world with you where everything goes right. This other world, it's just me wanting you real bad.

I am like, I'm not gonna dance either.

How come?

I don't like it.

That's as true as it gets and I feel sort of good about it. We are going to a dance and that's not what we are going to do there. I wonder what we will do.

I go, some of the teachers might be there.

What for?

To stop the boys from kissing the girls.

You don't say anything. I start to wonder if you know anything about these dances. Also, I start to act like I do.

They've got punch, I say.

To drink?

It's supposed to be good.

Okay.

We don't know the first thing about it. I'm just going by what I've seen on TV when there is a high school dance. But those are the big kids, they are not us.

I'm like, you dance good Heath.

Shut up.

Then you come at me with more.

I've seen you dance, you say.

So?

You dance good.

Dances are not about dancing, is what I'm beginning to think.

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