HOSTILE ILLUSIONS by India R. Adams

Author:India R. Adams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-07-19T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOUR

Sugar and Kisses

They weren’t illusions at all.

They were memories.

Maybe that is the case for all of us.

We’re not mad. We’re simply… destroyed.

“Wake up, Lacey,” cooed one of my assailants. “There’s more fun to have.”

On my bedroom floor, my eyes fluttered open to report to my brain what predicament I was waking to. I had just passed out due to a plastic bag over my head. It was beyond terrifying. It was against nature. Not being able to breathe is against the one rule all humans must follow.

My foggy eyes widened in terror because I could see and feel that I was being held down on my bedroom floor, while Damien, now naked, climbed on top of my face. With a bent leg on each side of my head, he put his weight over my mouth to smother me with his testicles.

I had no control over my exertions, nor did I have control over the rest of the brothers holding me down until I slipped into unconsciousness again…

It isn’t me that belongs in an institute; it is the sadists who found immense pleasure in my profound suffering. Lying down, I throw my face into my pillow, hoping to repress ghastly memories, but it doesn’t work. My mind spits out more memories like a raging waterfall.

Even though I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me scared while I was asphyxiated, there was no hiding the truth. My lungs begged for oxygen. My eyes screamed for mercy that would never come. And my tears screamed about how my enemy was in charge, once again.

My only reprieve would be when the younger of my attackers were finally off to join Damien, who was already in college. This was an opportunity for me to embark on a journey called high school. Newfound space wasn’t easily appreciated because it was so foreign to me. Without terror around every corner, I was almost at a loss. I had to convince myself to venture out of my norm and enjoy moments that were actually uninterrupted by trepidation. I had to start seeing hidden beauties, such as taking a shower without the fear of it being brutally invaded. During the week, when all the brothers were away, I started to allow my footfalls to actually make noise. To find my sanity again, I had to stop searching the shadows for danger.

I had to take a chance…

Standing on the sidewalk, getting ready to catch my school bus and head home, I was fifteen and a freshman. A teenager, happily running toward me, grabbed my full attention. He told me, “I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are.”

“Oh, God.” I sit up in bed, hugging my pillow and curling over my lap, trying to find comfort that I’m starting to understand won’t ever come.

Blue river eyes—

Chest seizing, my eyes race to my bedroom’s window, desperate to see this young man in real life, but he’s not here yet, and my memories now seem unstoppable.

Compared to what

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