3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs by Mike Haskins

Author:Mike Haskins
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781911042914
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Published: 2017-06-08T00:00:00+00:00

Gerry goes to a local farm to see a horse they have for sale. The horse is a fine animal and Gerry is surprised to find that the asking price is only £50. ‘That’s very cheap,’ says Gerry. ‘Is there anything wrong with it?’ ‘Arrrr, no,’ says the farmer. ‘Only, he don’t look very good.’ ‘He looks fine to me,’ says Gerry. ‘Mind if I take him out for a ride?’ ‘Course,’ says the farmer. ‘But remember, he don’t look very good.’ Gerry still can’t see anything the matter with the horse, so he saddles up and goes for a gallop. Three hours later, he returns with his arm in a cast. He comes up to the farmer and says, ‘That horse almost killed me. It ran straight into a wall. I had a vet examine it and he said it was completely blind.’ The farmer shrugs, ‘Well I did tell you it don’t look very good.’

A farmer finds that birds keep building their nests in his horse’s thick long mane. He asks the vet what he should do. The vet advises putting some baker’s yeast in the horse’s feed as this will cause an odour that will deter the birds. Sure enough, it works perfectly and a few days later the farmer asks the vet where he got the idea from. ‘It’s common knowledge,’ says the vet. ‘Have you never heard? Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet!’

Did you hear about the tragic horse? He had a terrible tale of whoa!

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, ‘Why the long face?’ The horse replies, ‘Because I’ve heard you tell the same flipping joke every time I come in here.’

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