Worldly Virtue by Andre Judith;

Author:Andre, Judith;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: undefined
Publisher: Lexington Books
Published: 2012-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

A trustee may be asked to keep and return what is placed in his care, but he could also be asked to use it for his own good or that of others. (Mothers of young children frequently pass on hand-me-down clothes. A friend told me that she appreciated being told, “Use this if it fits, otherwise just pass it on.” The remark freed her from a sense that her child had to be seen wearing the clothes.) Such provisos fit my interpretation of “acknowledged dependence”: a need to give in turn, but not necessarily to give back.

Even under this enlarged interpretation, gratitude alone cannot satisfy the norm of reciprocity; gratitude can consist in caring for oneself, but reciprocity cannot. Yet the metaphor of trusteeship suggests an important question for a thoughtful giver: How can I help this gift be seen as a recognition of the receiver’s worth? Can I help her see that an appropriate recompense would be to help others in similar situations, rather than to give something to me, the proximate giver? Transforming her need to reciprocate in that way would lighten her sense of obligation considerably, since its terms are indefinite and open.

Card and MacIntyre develop our understanding of what a skillful giver is trying to achieve: that receivers be comfortable with fundamental human interdependence, and experience the gift as a recognition of their worth. Often a skillful giver also wants to transmute the norm of reciprocity from an individual debt into a broader responsibility. For most friendships these dangers are minor, and for most gifts across generations. (Earlier I used the example of giving to children and to students, but giving to one’s elders is also usually simple, a sign of gratitude and respect.) The risk is sharpest when the receiver has fewer resources than the giver. The stories and strategies described earlier are some ways of skirting the dangers, but no simple formula will do. In fact, it will not always be possible to give without harming; in that case, true generosity must decide whether giving or withholding helps the most (or hurts the least).

Finally, there is another way in which a gift can harm: it can create or maintain unhealthy dependence. Like the other dangers, this one is not common, especially within families or among friends, but there is one glaring exception. Parents must constantly discern how much help to give, particularly to adolescents and young adults. Again, there is no formula for what to do, but the goals can be plainly stated: one wants the recipient to feel safe and cared for, but also to develop his or her own powers.

The political face of this question is complex and deeply contested. Does help to the poor, within one’s own country or abroad, discourage them from learning to cope on their own? The question is essentially empirical, although never easily answered; further complicating the issue is that political and economic arrangements underlie most collective poverty. Conservatives are more likely to worry that helping the poor encourages dependence; progressive that not helping them worsens injustice.

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