What Abi Taught Us by Lucy Hone

Author:Lucy Hone
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2016-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

Relationships (and what friends and family can do to help)

AS HUMANS WE ARE hard wired for relationships, for connection with others.

Years ago, I was watching American TV show Touch and was sufficiently struck by the following words to rewind and write them down: ‘Human beings are not the strongest species on the planet, not the fastest or the smartest. The one advantage we have is our ability to cooperate: to help each other out. We recognise ourselves in each other, we are programmed for compassion, for heroism, for love. And those things make us stronger, faster and smarter, that’s why we survive.’

In grief, as in so many aspects of our lives (and particularly times of traumatic and adverse events), our relationships with others are vital. A large body of research has accumulated over the past three decades to indicate how important supportive relationships are for resilience. Numerous studies have shown that social support reduces psychological distress in the aftermath of trauma. For example, children who have best survived child poverty or abuse have usually done so because they found a supportive adult to help them through;1 and adults exposed to trauma such as natural disaster, war and assault fare better if they are well supported.2 Similarly, several studies have shown that people with strong social support networks are more unlikely to become depressed than those without such networks. Having even one supportive confidant reduced the risk of depression in half the research subjects following other painful events such as divorce or job loss.

SOCIAL SUPPORT REDUCES PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS IN THE AFTERMATH OF TRAUMA.

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