The Trials & Tribulations of Nelson the Cat by the Cat Nelson & Vaughan Rick
Author:the Cat, Nelson & Vaughan, Rick
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Concise Publishing
Published: 2013-11-13T00:00:00+00:00
So please let us have this final opportunity (as we respect your threat to sue us and complain to Which Magazine) to respectfully assure you that:
1. Insuring Nelson is not a complete waste of money.
2. Cat food, cat litter and vetâs bills are not other worthless drains on your finances.
3. Animals, especially cats, are worthy creatures deserving of our unconditional love; and
4. 99.8% of our policyholders hold their pets in the highest esteem: regarding them as integral, important and much-loved members of the family.
5. We feel compelled to refute your arguments that:
a. these 99.8% of policyholders are âclearly psychotic imbecilesâ; or that
b. you are in the 0.2% who regard their pet cats as an âunappreciative, malevolent and blood-sucking blight on their livesâ.
Please note we did not find either of these verbatim comments in our research of 2,500 policyholders.
We did, however, like your amusing aside about holding your garden gnomes in higher esteem than Nelson as âat least they donât answer me backâ¦â
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