The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Revised and Updated: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love by Susan Anderson
Author:Susan Anderson [Anderson, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-09-01T16:00:00+00:00
REVERSING THE LOSS
âI didnât find it necessary to rage against my wifeâs behavior,â said Carlyle, âeven though she was the one who left me. I was able to understand that she was just being herself, doing what she felt necessary at the time. Getting angry didnât change anything.
âSome of my friends insisted that I wouldnât be able to heal properly unless I got in touch with how angry I was at her. They were angry with her for what she did. But I was in my own rageânot about her but about life. In fact, I felt like an angry bear, growling and frothing at the mouth over the ordeal I had ahead of me to get a new life started for myself. Why make this rage all about her, when it was really all about meâthe pain I was in, the isolation from my family, the loneliness? Thatâs what I was agitating about, not who was wrong or who did what to whom, but how to turn it around.â
Carlyle is not the only abandonment survivor who is able to bypass the need to get angry at his lost loved one and move directly toward rebuilding his life, but he is not in the majority. Most feel the need to direct their anger toward the one who left.
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