The End of Trauma by George A. Bonanno
Author:George A. Bonanno [Bonanno, George A]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Basic Books
Published: 2021-09-07T00:00:00+00:00
More Than a Mindset
There is no denying that Frida Kahlo was a compelling individual. Maren, in her own way, is equally compelling. I chose their stories for this book in part because they so perfectly illustrate how the belief system underpinning a flexibility mindsetâoptimism, confidence in coping, and a challenge orientationâput us in the right frame of mind for finding adaptive solutions. But there is a risk in using stories of such remarkable individuals: they can seem to imply that the flexibility mindset is only for exceptional people, that somehow it is preordained for them, but well out of reach for most ânormalâ people. Fortunately, this is not the case. Most people are resilient, and most people are reasonably flexible. Although some are more likely than others to gravitate toward this way of thinking, the beliefs that go into a flexibility mindset can be cultivated, and they can be utilized at any time by anyone willing to try.
There is another risk, though, in relying on stories from such compelling individuals. Their impressive accomplishments can easily lead to the false assumption that a flexibility mindset is all we needâthat once we have cultivated a conviction in our ability to adapt, for the most part the job is done. The stories and the research both demonstrate clearly how indispensable that conviction can be. But we still need to take the next step. We still need to find a way to adjust ourselves to meet the challenges we face. Weâve seen plenty of examples of flexible solutionsâfrom Maren and Frida Kahlo, especiallyâbut we havenât yet seen exactly how they came to those solutions. For that we need to look at the second component, or rather, set of components, of the flexibility process.
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