Remember When by Harper Logan

Author:Harper Logan [Logan, Harper]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-01-07T18:30:00+00:00

26

Cuke

It was past one in the afternoon, and I still wasn’t ready to get out of bed. I kind of doubted I’d ever want to leave this bed again.

Not because anything X-rated was happening here. It was just warm and comfortable, whereas the world outside was too painful to face.

The revelation I’d come to was a shock. From day one after my accident, I’d been certain I would’ve come out during college. That had always been my plan. Hell, I’d been close to coming out a couple of times in high school. I’d just decided to hold off until I had a place of my own so I could fully embrace my new life.

Now I knew I’d wussied out, and the thing was that I had no idea why. All the other changes in my life could be explained, even if they were surprising. Lots of people started drinking in college, or changed the kind of music they listened to. This was different.

Then again… wasn’t this kind of less surprising than those other things? I could’ve come out before I was eighteen. I’d known this about myself since I was about fourteen, but I’d gotten into the habit of keeping quiet while my friends talked about girls. I never spoke up to mention my own preferences… and sometimes, although I didn’t contribute any of my own opinions about those girls, I even nodded along.

I’d had a vague plan to tell my friends at my sixteenth birthday party, but I hadn’t. Then I’d thought about telling my parents when I started seeing Charly, but I didn’t do that either. Something came up each time—or else I kept finding excuses to chicken out of it.

And I didn’t even know why. I was sure my friends wouldn’t give a shit. We knew a few gay and bisexual people, and it was never an issue. I was fairly confident my parents would be disappointed, but they were disappointed in me anyway for not being another Maxim. Being gay wouldn’t add much to their disapproval.

I kind of would’ve liked to talk this over with Bouj, but at the same time, I really didn’t want to. He’d already seen me much more vulnerable than I would’ve liked. I’d cried in front of him, for fuck’s sake.

So when he asked if everything was okay, I said yes and kissed him instead.

I was getting tired of hearing that question. Not that I minded him asking it… I minded that he had to ask. But also, I wanted to kiss him 24/7.

I sank into the embrace, letting myself melt into him. He felt so strong, so solid—like the only thing in my life I could rely on. I kissed him until it felt like we’d been kissing forever, and like we’d never stop.

It came as a shock when I felt his hand slide lower than it’d ever gone before.

“What are you doing?” I asked, pulling away to stare at him.

His hand kept moving, stroking me over my pants. The

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