Puns, Puzzles, and Word Play by Jim Bernhard

Author:Jim Bernhard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2013-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

In the same vein of puzzling pronunciations are these verses, called “Six States of Mind,” which must be read carefully (if at all) in order to make any sense of them.

When it’s dry in Bangor, ME,

Farmers there can feel the PE.

But they don’t gripe or groan,

And they don’t mope or moan,

They just kneel and pray for RE.

Folks down in Atlanta, GA

Fear the mad Lucrezia BA.

They’ll all quickly say

You’d best run away

When you see her coming TA.

The oilmen down in Dallas, TX

All say, “There ain’t a thing can VX.

We flourish and thrive

And all of us drive

A Rolls, a Cadillac, or LX.”

Now when you visit Dover, DE,

Be very sure that you are WE

That a modest skirt

And a clean white shirt

Are what a well-dressed gal and FE.

The food in Detroit, MI,

Is great, and how I WI

To have some pastrami

With Polish salami—

I’d love that tasty DI.

A tenor in Wichita, KS

In each song sings all of the STS,

And has been known to gloat

That his very top note

Is much higher than Mario LS.

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