No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz

Author:Richard C. Schwartz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sounds True
Published: 2021-06-03T00:00:00+00:00

Although there’s no sequential order to these Cs, I find that the first quality to reveal itself is often curiosity. You’ve probably noticed yourself becoming more curious about your parts in a new way in some of the practices you’ve done in this book. Compassion as a spontaneous aspect of Self blew my mind, because I’d always assumed and learned that compassion was something you had to develop. There’s this idea—especially in some spiritual circles—that you have to build up the muscle of compassion over time, because it’s not inherent. Again, that’s the negative view on human nature at play. To be clear, what I mean by compassion is the ability to be in Self with somebody when they’re really hurting and feel for them, but not be overwhelmed by their pain. You can only do that if you’ve done it within yourself. That is, if you can be with your own exiles without blending and being overwhelmed by them and instead show them compassion and help them, then you can do the same for someone in pain who’s sitting across from you.

Of course, this also involves a notable degree of courage and calm. In Self, you can better handle troubling people or situations that may have paralyzed you before, and you can also go into the inner caves and abysses that once terrified you. There’s confidence in doing this, and creativity as well. Once in Self, you enjoy a lot of clarity about what’s going on in you and others, and this will enable you to come up with all sorts of solutions and out-of-the-box ideas.

Also, when you experience Self, you naturally feel more connected to humanity in general, and also to something larger and more encompassing—the Earth, the universe, the big SELF, or whatever your experience of this is. In other words, once in Self, you feel less isolated and lonely.

When people sense how connected they are to humanity, they feel more curious about others and have more courage to help them.

Of course, all of these qualities work together. When you get curious about a part, you naturally gain clarity regarding what it’s all about, which typically results in a newfound compassion for all it’s been through and is trying to do. Also, when people sense how connected they are to humanity, they feel more curious about others and have more courage to help them. In this way, even accessing one of these C qualities often leads to the appearance and activity of others. In IFS, we talk about starting with a critical mass of Self—enough to get the ball rolling in a good direction and the others will follow.

That being said, it’s rare for someone to be in a state of pure Self, in which all of these qualities manifest simultaneously (although the path exercise can sometimes get you fairly close). Most of the time, we’re blended to some degree with different parts. But as you repeatedly prove to your parts that they don’t have to blend, you gradually experience more of the eight Cs, and more often, as well.

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