Mail Order Lila by Patricia PacJac Carroll

Author:Patricia PacJac Carroll
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: PacJac Publishing
Published: 2020-07-31T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6

Lila waited until the house was quiet. The babies were fast asleep, and she could hear Zandy snoring in the den. She pulled on her skirt and blouse, found her wrap, and held her shoes. She pried open the window, threw out her carpetbag, and climbed out careful to shut the window behind her.

After finding a log to sit on, she put on her shoes. She figured town wasn’t but ten miles away, and she could walk in and catch the stage. It didn’t matter where it was going. Tears threatened to fall.

Lila wiped her eyes and stiffened her resolve. She wasn’t fit to be a wife or mother, and Zandy deserved a good woman. No, he was better off without her. He could find someone far better.

The night air was cool but not uncomfortable. It wasn’t like she hadn’t walked from one town to another before. That time in San Antonio, she’d been thrown out of the saloon and threatened with jail if she didn’t leave immediately.

She’d walked for three days to get to the next town. Nope, she could do this. After all, it was for a good cause. Lila didn’t want Zandy or the kids tainted by her. The news about what she’d been would get around the small town, and they would suffer because of her past.

Lila sighed. She’d been on the stagecoach because the sheriff had gotten mad at her for helping the card sharp. And then even madder when she wouldn’t lie to protect him.

Well, walking wasn’t that bad as it gave her time to think. Coyotes howled to her left and were answered to the north. Whippoorwills called out their saying, making her feel both lonely and at home on the trail.

Finally, the moon rose and spread its silver light across the road so she could see. As nights go, it was magnificent. The only problem was that she was alone and leaving Zandy, the kids, and his house.

She could hear Mary, who worked the last saloon. “Throwing away your hope, Lila? You can do better. Stay away from that card sharp.” Mary had been right. Now, Lila was throwing away a chance at a good life.

But she knew what would happen. Her past would find her, and those in the town would talk about her. Zandy would be shamed for taking in a saloon girl. As soon as they were old enough, the children would be made fun of for having a fallen woman as a mother.

It wouldn’t work. Lila, if nothing else, was a realist. She’d heard that word somewhere and liked it. She was real. Her fallen life was more than real to her. She couldn’t deny it. Wouldn’t.

While not proud of her life, it was what she’d made of it. Forces converged on her to mold her into what she’d become. There were few choices in the orphanage. Mistreated and abused, her life in the saloon was little different from what she’d grown up with.

It’s what she knew. She remembered an old pastor standing on the bar, preaching fire and brimstone at them.

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