Love, Yumi: The Romantic Life Of A Japanese Idol by Hildred Billings

Author:Hildred Billings [Billings, Hildred]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Lesbian Romance
Publisher: Barachou Press
Published: 2015-12-31T00:00:00+00:00

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The worst thing about being trapped out here for now is that I have no creative outlet. Not for music, anyway. No piano to vent my frustrations on, let alone write some songs about what I’m feeling. I’m the type of person who can hear it in my head if I must, but it’s nowhere near as satisfying as hearing the notes explode from the piano and echo in my home.

I’ve got this program on my computer that sort of simulates it, but it’s not the same. I just spent ten minutes trying to make it work for me. There’s a melody bounding around in my head that I can’t let go of. With my state of mind as it is right now, this probably means I’m burning to write a song about this whole ordeal. I don’t know. I usually write the lyrics last, if I write them at all. Hence my frustrations.

Don’t feel like writing again yet, so I’m watching TV. People are reporting on my blog going down and being the most popular in all of Japan. Yumi’s albums are taking up the top three spots digitally, and some of mine are creeping into the Top 10. Last night while we talked for an hour, Yumi implied that her album had been put indefinitely on hold. “Not shelved entirely,” she said. “They’re making too much money on this to not start it up again once the frenzy dies down. Right now they’re punishing us for hurting their image.”

That’s easy for her to say. She’s still a superstar. Everyone remembers when Noriko Sakai made a fool of herself in the industry. Nobody wanted to work with her anymore. Yet she still managed to have somewhat of a career, and she broke the law! Or how about Ami Suzuki? Blacklisted at the top of her career. She never fully recovered, but she seems to be enjoying some career today. Yumi can do the same when this is over. What is her biggest crime in the industry? Being my friend? I know guilty by association is a huge thing, but I’m the one taking the brunt of this. It’s what we agreed.

As it is, I’ve lost my current outside-label contracts and jobs. I haven’t really talked about it, but I’ve been dropped or had my contract voided from all of them. I’m still a part of the label, as far as I know. I doubt I’ll be releasing music through them anytime soon.

It’s kind of depressing, isn’t it? What am I living for right now? To tell this story? I’m not home. I don’t have my family. I don’t have any outlets except this computer. The whole world is watching me, but I can’t do anything.

Yumi, if you’re reading this, hear my plea. I wanna get out of here, but I need somewhere to go and someone to be with. Let’s hide together. If I’m dying of loneliness, then you must be about to explode. I don’t care if they find us.

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