Is it Just Me or is Modern Football S**t? by Jim Keoghan

Author:Jim Keoghan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pitch Publishing
Published: 2021-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

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Steve McManaman

Looking like a scouse drug lord from an ITV drama who is in the middle of making the transition to become a legitimate businessman, probably in the property game, but who keeps getting drawn back into his criminal past because his younger brother is addicted to heroin and has fallen in with a competitor drug firm.

And, at the same time, dividing his attention between his mistress and his wife, the former a middle-class woman drawn from his legitimate world, the latter a woman he has known all his life, but who is now also having an affair with his best friend, the second-in-command to his drugs empire, Steve McManaman has become a staple of BT’s football coverage in recent years.

Meanwhile, on co-commentary duty, McManaman’s contribution over the course of a season can be roughly broken down into the following constituent parts:

• An unwavering bias towards Liverpool. Although a lot of former Anfield players occupy the punditry/commentary circuit, few wear their colours as prominently and vocally as ‘Macca’. It’s a level of partisanship that makes him sound like a presenter from Liverpool TV who has wandered into the wrong studio.

• Tangential conversational asides with ‘Fletch’ that seem designed to almost wilfully exclude the viewer.

• Regularly growling, ‘There’s nothing wrong with that,’ when a 50-50 ball is fiercely contested. This is then followed by a dramatic octave shift, as a now alto ‘Macca’ echoes those same words when he sees the slow-motion replay.

Is there a point to any of it? Well, the infinite monkey theorem posits that if you leave an unlimited number of monkeys in a room and give them typewriters and sufficient time, they’ll eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

The ‘infinite Macca theorem’ posits something similar. That if you leave Steve McManaman in a studio, with just a microphone and a continual stream of live football in front of him, he’ll eventually say something of note.

It hasn’t happened yet. But we live in hope.

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